Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Queens of the Desert, the Ballroom and Guy Anthonys; OH What a Weekend!
Friday Night was a very lonely night, with James working late in the office and heading over to Miss Kitty's for the night; so her errands could be completed early. We will be headed to South Beach on Monday Morning and have a jam packed weekend ahead to prepare; Birthday Party, Broadway and a Dinner Party (How else would you prepare for South Beach). So I cleaned the house on this dark and stormy night, with the thunder claps outside and the lights eerily flicking. (No none of that happened, but I thought I'd try my hand at the Suspense/Horror genre. I just did laundry and loaded the dish washer. (See, not as interesting).
Saturday morning rolled around and I headed right off to my chores. I did my best to find my inner Edna Turnblatt because I had some Irrr-ning to do, after working so hard to get the stains out of my Petite-pants. (If you didn't get the reference watch Hairspray:The Musical or The sad interpretation of a great Broadway Musical, But I Digress). Well, the one gene I did not get from my Mother was the ironing gene; which I would gladly have exchanged with the mentally off-balanced gene which I did inherit. So 3 hours later, I completed about 12 items and finally threw the towel in. I can only hope that a neat freak of a burglar breaks in while we're gone and can't resist finishing my dainties! I straightened the house some, before it was time to get ready for my Nephew Sean's Birthday Party. I arrived promptly at 3, but had this nagging feeling that I forgot something. Well 20 minutes later, I was reminded of what I forgot by a simple phone call, It was James waiting for me to pick him up. OOPS-A-DAISY, I flew over to Miss Kitty's and collected James. By the time we arrived back we only had 20 minutes to stay and I lost my good parking spot. You can imagine which upset me more! Hey a good parking spot is worth its weight in gold. Of course if they were proper hosts they would have had scantily clad, swarthy, young, toned Valets at our service. Okay, I'm drooling on my laptop, so time to change the subject. James quickly critiqued their wine (Last time he didn't approve and poured it down the sink; but in his defense Heinz ketsup moved faster. James approved of the wine and did speed chatting with all the guests. We had to leave at 3:45 so James could make a train to the city. He was heading in to hang with his Homie Homo, Rich and would meet up later at the theater. I then headed home took care of Sparky, cleaned some more and then worked my body into a fine work of art. It was a Picasso, but Hey it's still Art!
I was all ready and awaited the arrival of my dearest, bitterest friends; "Mustang" John, Artsy- Fartsy, and Cha Cha La Buca, who has rewritten the book on being fashionably late. Artsy was going to wear the same shirt I did but opted not to. Thank God, we would have looked like twins and I already have one of them. We then started our own private journey into the city for "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" at the Palace theater. What a Blast!!!!! It was so good "Mustang" John gave it a "No Snores" rating, which is just like the star rating system, just in reverse. The lead Lei Girl, Bernadette channels her inner Susan Sullivan (For you Lay People, Dharma's Mother and Castle's Mother and if you are still lost Mustang John guffaws in your direction)., and the eye candy alone is enough to hold your attention. The opera glasses came in handy. And in case you worry about leaving your boa at home, they sell them at the concession stand. James and I are being stalked by this couple we know as Dave and The Freeloader, and sure enough they too were at the show. I wonder if they know, Yenta Eddie? But the Show is a must see if you just want to laugh; and pay close attention to Tinky Winky and the Pelvic Thrusts of the Polish Lesbian Bar Owner. After the show Cha Cha did a impromptu fashion show on Broadway, we then relaxed over a cocktail. Well, we relaxed until the bill came. At the parking garage was a whole other experience with 2 Snookie wanna-bes arguing with the attendant that they called ahead for their car, and since it wasn't ready they shouldn't have to pay. Could they truly be that dumb? I guess that pissed the attendant off (Ya Think) so they were still waiting as we got in our car with our usual boisterous flair. Snookie That!
Sunday morning was a day of rest for me while James went to work and cleared off his desk for our trip to South Beach. We then headed to dinner at Guy Anthony's restaurant, where we rated an invite to dine with "Yenta" Eddie. We were late enough to make a grand entrance, to find out we weren't special enough to rate a private viewing. We love the other guys; Mitch, John, Anthony and our new friend Ray, but aren't we Special enough for some one on one time? Guess Eddie is just to popular to spread himself thin. We did have a lovely evening, and with Eddie's reputation Guy himself served the cocktails. When told he made a sexy waitress, He didn't bat an eye when he turned and said "From this table that's a compliment".
Well tata for now, Once again sorry for the back-up, but like the Gastro-intestinal guy told me, In a Few days the S#@t will be flowing.
Saturday morning rolled around and I headed right off to my chores. I did my best to find my inner Edna Turnblatt because I had some Irrr-ning to do, after working so hard to get the stains out of my Petite-pants. (If you didn't get the reference watch Hairspray:The Musical or The sad interpretation of a great Broadway Musical, But I Digress). Well, the one gene I did not get from my Mother was the ironing gene; which I would gladly have exchanged with the mentally off-balanced gene which I did inherit. So 3 hours later, I completed about 12 items and finally threw the towel in. I can only hope that a neat freak of a burglar breaks in while we're gone and can't resist finishing my dainties! I straightened the house some, before it was time to get ready for my Nephew Sean's Birthday Party. I arrived promptly at 3, but had this nagging feeling that I forgot something. Well 20 minutes later, I was reminded of what I forgot by a simple phone call, It was James waiting for me to pick him up. OOPS-A-DAISY, I flew over to Miss Kitty's and collected James. By the time we arrived back we only had 20 minutes to stay and I lost my good parking spot. You can imagine which upset me more! Hey a good parking spot is worth its weight in gold. Of course if they were proper hosts they would have had scantily clad, swarthy, young, toned Valets at our service. Okay, I'm drooling on my laptop, so time to change the subject. James quickly critiqued their wine (Last time he didn't approve and poured it down the sink; but in his defense Heinz ketsup moved faster. James approved of the wine and did speed chatting with all the guests. We had to leave at 3:45 so James could make a train to the city. He was heading in to hang with his Homie Homo, Rich and would meet up later at the theater. I then headed home took care of Sparky, cleaned some more and then worked my body into a fine work of art. It was a Picasso, but Hey it's still Art!
I was all ready and awaited the arrival of my dearest, bitterest friends; "Mustang" John, Artsy- Fartsy, and Cha Cha La Buca, who has rewritten the book on being fashionably late. Artsy was going to wear the same shirt I did but opted not to. Thank God, we would have looked like twins and I already have one of them. We then started our own private journey into the city for "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" at the Palace theater. What a Blast!!!!! It was so good "Mustang" John gave it a "No Snores" rating, which is just like the star rating system, just in reverse. The lead Lei Girl, Bernadette channels her inner Susan Sullivan (For you Lay People, Dharma's Mother and Castle's Mother and if you are still lost Mustang John guffaws in your direction)., and the eye candy alone is enough to hold your attention. The opera glasses came in handy. And in case you worry about leaving your boa at home, they sell them at the concession stand. James and I are being stalked by this couple we know as Dave and The Freeloader, and sure enough they too were at the show. I wonder if they know, Yenta Eddie? But the Show is a must see if you just want to laugh; and pay close attention to Tinky Winky and the Pelvic Thrusts of the Polish Lesbian Bar Owner. After the show Cha Cha did a impromptu fashion show on Broadway, we then relaxed over a cocktail. Well, we relaxed until the bill came. At the parking garage was a whole other experience with 2 Snookie wanna-bes arguing with the attendant that they called ahead for their car, and since it wasn't ready they shouldn't have to pay. Could they truly be that dumb? I guess that pissed the attendant off (Ya Think) so they were still waiting as we got in our car with our usual boisterous flair. Snookie That!
Sunday morning was a day of rest for me while James went to work and cleared off his desk for our trip to South Beach. We then headed to dinner at Guy Anthony's restaurant, where we rated an invite to dine with "Yenta" Eddie. We were late enough to make a grand entrance, to find out we weren't special enough to rate a private viewing. We love the other guys; Mitch, John, Anthony and our new friend Ray, but aren't we Special enough for some one on one time? Guess Eddie is just to popular to spread himself thin. We did have a lovely evening, and with Eddie's reputation Guy himself served the cocktails. When told he made a sexy waitress, He didn't bat an eye when he turned and said "From this table that's a compliment".
Well tata for now, Once again sorry for the back-up, but like the Gastro-intestinal guy told me, In a Few days the S#@t will be flowing.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Stewart Nanny Services - We beat your children so you don't have too
Sorry for all the back dating, but they've changed the way the posting of the blog happens. And another lesson learned is Never, Never type a blog while your doing cocktails. I tried on Monday at Blanche and ended up creating a new language that I couldn't even decipher.
I've returned to the job of Nanny working on Monday and Wednesdays. I wasn't that excited about it, because I'm now required to help with the homework and I am not smarter then a fifth grader. Thank God 1 + 1 still equals 2, but I am so confused after that. I got to meet some of the parents while waiting for the boys, but there is a certain pecking order among the parents, and Nanny is at the bottom of the rung. I'm don't even rate among the cool kids at pick-up staging area. It seemed things were about to turn around when one of the Dads started talking to me. We were chatting away when out of no where Hot Daddy asks me for a playdate. I 'm not sure if I said "Mother of Jefferson Davis I'm getting the vapors" out loud or too myself. I looked around for the hidden cameras to make sure I wasn't getting punked before saying "Sure" as calmly as possible. Great Recovery. Then out of nowhere he tells me to bring my nephew along. Well I never! I let the bastard have it and explain to him if I ever catch him near my nephew, He'd be one sorry gelding. I then grabbed the boys and quickly left. When my sister got home, I calmly explained to her what happened. Well Spank me with Boa. How was I supposed to know that the playdate was for the kids. Guess no playdate requests for me or the boys. Que Sera Sera.
Monday night was out with the Bucca Boys. The touch screen video game was broken, so Cha Cha was forced to engage in old time gossiping, which he handles oh so deftly. I instead played pool and enjoyed oh so much getting trounced. After being shamed back to my seat, I then opted to try and do a Blog and we all know how that turned out. One bright spot is I got to chat it up with a old Old friend, John of Auntie M's fame. Ah yes also another close friend of "Yenta" Eddie. I'm telling you it's like hitting a Drag Queen in a big girl's store, it's that easy meeting someone who knows Eddie. Well John and I closed that place, with the only interruption being from the drug induced queen, who thought he was part of the conversation. He thought WRONG!
James was still away, going from Seattle to Atlanta, so I played social butterfly meeting up with "Mustang" John on Wednesday at the Long Island Vulture (Oops I mean Eagle, I confuse the two so easily.) The ever charming Kenny Dash was hosting Pictionary Night. (Yep real live Pictionary). Kenny's barb wired wit keeps the evening going and the brainless beauties in line. John and I know Kenny for 20 years, and his repetoire has certainly expanded over the years. He's expanded so much when he mentioned he accepted tipping, some Yokel from out of town pushed himover like a sleeping cow in the field. Yes, Yes, I am ever so cruel and certainly hope Kenny doesn't google his name or he'll be hunting me down like Dolly Parton in 9 to 5. We did quite well winning free hats, key chains and the so ever tasteful light up necklaces. We stayed out late celebrating John's new granddaughter, so CONGRATULATIONS GRANDPA MIST.
Thursday was a day of rest till I had to fetch James at the airport late. Well no total do nothing; I did reach level 39 in Canasta on Pogo.com. I am so multi-talented! Friday was not much better for grand acheivements. But it was my nephew Sean's Birthday, so I picked up balloons and waited outside of school for him. (Gratefully, I got enough balloons to hide behind, so Hot Daddy didn't see me). Hey if I did I would have been required to apolog.., I would have had to apolog... See I can't even type it bad enough say it.
Well tata for now and look for an update on Monday recounting my exciting weekend.
I've returned to the job of Nanny working on Monday and Wednesdays. I wasn't that excited about it, because I'm now required to help with the homework and I am not smarter then a fifth grader. Thank God 1 + 1 still equals 2, but I am so confused after that. I got to meet some of the parents while waiting for the boys, but there is a certain pecking order among the parents, and Nanny is at the bottom of the rung. I'm don't even rate among the cool kids at pick-up staging area. It seemed things were about to turn around when one of the Dads started talking to me. We were chatting away when out of no where Hot Daddy asks me for a playdate. I 'm not sure if I said "Mother of Jefferson Davis I'm getting the vapors" out loud or too myself. I looked around for the hidden cameras to make sure I wasn't getting punked before saying "Sure" as calmly as possible. Great Recovery. Then out of nowhere he tells me to bring my nephew along. Well I never! I let the bastard have it and explain to him if I ever catch him near my nephew, He'd be one sorry gelding. I then grabbed the boys and quickly left. When my sister got home, I calmly explained to her what happened. Well Spank me with Boa. How was I supposed to know that the playdate was for the kids. Guess no playdate requests for me or the boys. Que Sera Sera.
Monday night was out with the Bucca Boys. The touch screen video game was broken, so Cha Cha was forced to engage in old time gossiping, which he handles oh so deftly. I instead played pool and enjoyed oh so much getting trounced. After being shamed back to my seat, I then opted to try and do a Blog and we all know how that turned out. One bright spot is I got to chat it up with a old Old friend, John of Auntie M's fame. Ah yes also another close friend of "Yenta" Eddie. I'm telling you it's like hitting a Drag Queen in a big girl's store, it's that easy meeting someone who knows Eddie. Well John and I closed that place, with the only interruption being from the drug induced queen, who thought he was part of the conversation. He thought WRONG!
James was still away, going from Seattle to Atlanta, so I played social butterfly meeting up with "Mustang" John on Wednesday at the Long Island Vulture (Oops I mean Eagle, I confuse the two so easily.) The ever charming Kenny Dash was hosting Pictionary Night. (Yep real live Pictionary). Kenny's barb wired wit keeps the evening going and the brainless beauties in line. John and I know Kenny for 20 years, and his repetoire has certainly expanded over the years. He's expanded so much when he mentioned he accepted tipping, some Yokel from out of town pushed himover like a sleeping cow in the field. Yes, Yes, I am ever so cruel and certainly hope Kenny doesn't google his name or he'll be hunting me down like Dolly Parton in 9 to 5. We did quite well winning free hats, key chains and the so ever tasteful light up necklaces. We stayed out late celebrating John's new granddaughter, so CONGRATULATIONS GRANDPA MIST.
Thursday was a day of rest till I had to fetch James at the airport late. Well no total do nothing; I did reach level 39 in Canasta on Pogo.com. I am so multi-talented! Friday was not much better for grand acheivements. But it was my nephew Sean's Birthday, so I picked up balloons and waited outside of school for him. (Gratefully, I got enough balloons to hide behind, so Hot Daddy didn't see me). Hey if I did I would have been required to apolog.., I would have had to apolog... See I can't even type it bad enough say it.
Well tata for now and look for an update on Monday recounting my exciting weekend.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Where oh where has Jimmy's James gone? Dated March 28th, 2011
Where oh where has the time gone? Actually 9 Months later and I've only just recovered from Cha Cha's house warming party. So we shall continue on with my Alzheimer's intact and discuss my weekend. I can see you're on the edge of your seats. By the way on the 16th, James and I met at The Actor's Studio 9 years ago, so we appreciate all the Anniversary cards we didn't get, but you will be able to redeem yourselves on April 10th, which is the date of our first date at RS Jones (Money is always acceptable though not necessary).
After recovering from a vicious intestinal infection all week, Yes that must have put a lovely picture in your head. I was up and about on Friday to do my "Primping with Miss Kitty" day. After my chores were complete, I was looking forward to a restful weekend with James.
The highlight of the weekend was to be a Party in Kew Gardens at one of our newest friends, Scott. We had actually only met Scott once after being invited to dinner by his "Fag Hag" Eileen. The four of us had a lovely dinner and did the "We have to do this again sometime". Who would have thought they would take us literally. So Saturday night we drove in to Queens to be quickly reminded that it is the city of Parking Nightmares! We got false hope when we saw a church emptying out around the corner, but that bubble burst quickly when we realized it was an Orthodox Temple. We then saw one of the members walking quickly constantly looking over his shoulder. Boy, I can spot a sinner a mile away. Sure enough the "Not So Orthodox" Jew had parked his car 3 blocks away, which we promptly took . We arrived fashionably late to find that Eileen wasn't even attending the party, so other then meeting Scott once, we knew not a sole. It was a roomful of teachers, their spouses and a gaggle of gays (some who were also teachers). We had a very pleasant evening and after several cocktails the straights went home and the gays were friendlier. Except for Ramon, who could easily be cast as the annoying neighbor upstairs and he wouldn't even have to act. What a bitchy Queen he was, and ball less also. He waited till guests left to start tearing them to pieces. He was like a Pavlov Dog, hearing the click of the door and Arf, Arf, Arf. Okay More Bowsie-Wowsie.
I was a man on a mission at the party, We hadn't even a clue whats Scott's name was. Hard to send a Thank-You note to "What's-his-name" in 2F. So I ever so politely rifled through his drawers in the bedroom, and what should I find directly under his Battery-operated appliances but Address labels. Doesn't everyone keep them next to each other in the night stand?. So I quickly affixed one of the labels to my GPS unit and rejoined the party. I was sure before we got home, I was going to lose the GPS and someone would mail it back to Scott, but thankfully that didn't happen. As the night wound down, Scott and the teachers started talking shop when one of them mentioned a particular school. We stated that our friend "Yenta" Eddie worked there. Well of course, he knew Eddie. Everyone knows Eddie! More people at this party knew Eddie then us. It's like 3 degrees of Gay Sodium-Free Bacon (Say it fast and you get Sodomy free, which also works).. We were now incredulous that Eddie was more popular, so we left. We got very warm hugs leaving, but I sensed it was a more "Thank God" then "nice meeting you". We certainly didn't make the mistake of saying "We have to do this again sometime"! We drove quickly home, Face booked Eddie on how he ruined our life, Wrote out the Thank-You and removed the sticker from the GPS.
We slept late and headed in to Huntington for Brunch (More like Linner) at Cassis. The Bloody Mary's were weak, but the Food was excellent. Then of course being Gays, we went shopping and got our Starbuck's before heading home. James then headed to Merrick so he could get his luggage and pack up for the morning off to Seattle and then Atlanta, So what ever happens on Long Island stays on Long Island "Or Else!!"
I have been devouring books on the kindle. I kind of hope for a wait at the doctor's office or the car service area so I can clip off a few chapters. I highly recommend Tabatha Coffey's "It's Not Really About The Hair". I have been addicted to her show, "Salon Takeover", and literally wait for someone to screw up. Yet it is Tabatha's brash honesty that makes it a "how to" for any service orientated business (Hint Hint Cha Cha). Her book is no different it's a positive direct account of her upbringing and how she chose to take every experience in to a constructive one.
Tata for now, who knows when I'll be back.
After recovering from a vicious intestinal infection all week, Yes that must have put a lovely picture in your head. I was up and about on Friday to do my "Primping with Miss Kitty" day. After my chores were complete, I was looking forward to a restful weekend with James.
The highlight of the weekend was to be a Party in Kew Gardens at one of our newest friends, Scott. We had actually only met Scott once after being invited to dinner by his "Fag Hag" Eileen. The four of us had a lovely dinner and did the "We have to do this again sometime". Who would have thought they would take us literally. So Saturday night we drove in to Queens to be quickly reminded that it is the city of Parking Nightmares! We got false hope when we saw a church emptying out around the corner, but that bubble burst quickly when we realized it was an Orthodox Temple. We then saw one of the members walking quickly constantly looking over his shoulder. Boy, I can spot a sinner a mile away. Sure enough the "Not So Orthodox" Jew had parked his car 3 blocks away, which we promptly took . We arrived fashionably late to find that Eileen wasn't even attending the party, so other then meeting Scott once, we knew not a sole. It was a roomful of teachers, their spouses and a gaggle of gays (some who were also teachers). We had a very pleasant evening and after several cocktails the straights went home and the gays were friendlier. Except for Ramon, who could easily be cast as the annoying neighbor upstairs and he wouldn't even have to act. What a bitchy Queen he was, and ball less also. He waited till guests left to start tearing them to pieces. He was like a Pavlov Dog, hearing the click of the door and Arf, Arf, Arf. Okay More Bowsie-Wowsie.
I was a man on a mission at the party, We hadn't even a clue whats Scott's name was. Hard to send a Thank-You note to "What's-his-name" in 2F. So I ever so politely rifled through his drawers in the bedroom, and what should I find directly under his Battery-operated appliances but Address labels. Doesn't everyone keep them next to each other in the night stand?. So I quickly affixed one of the labels to my GPS unit and rejoined the party. I was sure before we got home, I was going to lose the GPS and someone would mail it back to Scott, but thankfully that didn't happen. As the night wound down, Scott and the teachers started talking shop when one of them mentioned a particular school. We stated that our friend "Yenta" Eddie worked there. Well of course, he knew Eddie. Everyone knows Eddie! More people at this party knew Eddie then us. It's like 3 degrees of Gay Sodium-Free Bacon (Say it fast and you get Sodomy free, which also works).. We were now incredulous that Eddie was more popular, so we left. We got very warm hugs leaving, but I sensed it was a more "Thank God" then "nice meeting you". We certainly didn't make the mistake of saying "We have to do this again sometime"! We drove quickly home, Face booked Eddie on how he ruined our life, Wrote out the Thank-You and removed the sticker from the GPS.
We slept late and headed in to Huntington for Brunch (More like Linner) at Cassis. The Bloody Mary's were weak, but the Food was excellent. Then of course being Gays, we went shopping and got our Starbuck's before heading home. James then headed to Merrick so he could get his luggage and pack up for the morning off to Seattle and then Atlanta, So what ever happens on Long Island stays on Long Island "Or Else!!"
I have been devouring books on the kindle. I kind of hope for a wait at the doctor's office or the car service area so I can clip off a few chapters. I highly recommend Tabatha Coffey's "It's Not Really About The Hair". I have been addicted to her show, "Salon Takeover", and literally wait for someone to screw up. Yet it is Tabatha's brash honesty that makes it a "how to" for any service orientated business (Hint Hint Cha Cha). Her book is no different it's a positive direct account of her upbringing and how she chose to take every experience in to a constructive one.
Tata for now, who knows when I'll be back.
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