The Day Stalker

The other night at Blanche wasn't as exciting as I could of hoped. Cha Cha rambled on about his awards. Yada, Yada! Really trophies in the shape of ruby slippers, How Original! (Now if they were shaped like a Hoover vacuum, that would be original, and just a little apropos). Poor Head Bucca Bill still had a pinched nerve limiting the use of his right arm, which made for sloppy Bucca pouring (wasted bucca is harmful to the enviroment, I hear). Shelf Butt Bobby just got in from his spa weekend with brochures of the place. We all knew they were mock-ups and he was really at a detox program, but his world is kinda small so we let him dream. "Woody Galore" Charlie was there, and yes his nickname says it all. Lastly was Dr. Petie, who isn't actually a dr. yet. He's working on a thesis or masters or something like that in Biology, which I find fascinating...or something like that! Just before heading out Petie's facebook page said he was working on his dissertation, Oh really. he explained that his topic was on Sponges and felt he could get research done at the bar watching us. Sponges? Cha Cha and I would have been mortified if we weren't so excited about being the subject of a research paper that wasn't about STD's or Hereditary Mental Illness, respectively.

I was up bright and early yesterday around 11 (Yes A.M.), and got ready for "Driving Miss Kitty". While primping, the doorbell rang. It was an ex-fling from 9-10 yrs. ago. He was tall, built and strikingly handsome (Actually short, pudgy and wrinkled but SHHH, I'm trying to make Jimmy jealous and stroke my ego at the same time). So Mr. Male Model was passing down the street and thought he'd stop in (If you know my street no one drives down it to pass by; Can anybody say stalking). Well I explain I'm flattered he stopped by, but I needed to run. I tell him to stop by anytime (so I can serve the restrining order), and off I go.

Mr. Joe was having a difficult day, so I do the errands solo. I do a little shopping, drop off dry cleaning and head for the pharmaacy. I always hate going to the pharmacy because with all their prescriptions I feel like a drug mule. I hear from in the back "Is that Jim?", I say "No, the other Jim, the son-in-law". Out comes the pharmacist, who just happened to live across the street from Jim when he was growing up (think someone would have told me?). Pharmacist Bob says "Oh you must be Claire's husband!". I quickly say to myself OOPS-A-Daisy, but to my surprise he's still awaiting an answer. (I need to check with Jim's brother Tom to see what I did wrong). To avoid any further discussion, I wimp out with the" well not really, but being with them so much they start to call me that". Bob is satisfied, and I scurry for the door. I quickly check outside to make sure there's no drug sting going on and head back to Kitty and Joe's, and casually forget the drugstore story, which is a pity; they would have found it hysterical. I can hear the "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" as I write this.

After completing my own errands, I headed to Merrick today by noon. Jimmy was working from home. No, really working, though I've heard people shop and watch nephews, while they're "working from home". Jimmy was heading off to Seattle for 4 days for work. I pick up his drycleaning, so he can have certain pants. The guy puts a clothes horse to shame, but those pants he needed. Of course I say "I'd be happy to, @%@#$%$&%" (Family -friendly Blog). Then off to do grocery shopping, and get back in time, so I can go get @%@#$%$%$ a Iced Caffe Latte from Starbucks. Well you don't have to hit me 3 times to learn my lesson, so I throw it in the door and run for the hills. Of course within 2 mins. the cellphone rings, but I didn't hear it. No, No Really I heard nothing, Nothing.

Well my DVR is running full-time now, so I am trying to keep up on the shows. "Accidently on Purpose" with Jenna Elfman, Not so hot. NCIS: Los Andeles with Chris O'donnell Very good, "The Godd Wife" just not sure yet. But I must have ticked off the DVR because it failed to tape "Big Bang Theory" so I have no clue what happened in Alaska. Well I need to run off and have tea in Merrick, which in code is check up on Jim's parents, but they don't need to know that. So good night and Tata for now, I have to go save the world from Dr. Horrible, It's amazing the resemblance.

Is it Writer's Block or Constipation?

What can I say? What can I say? OH GOD What can I say? Hmmmmmmmm let me think. Talk among yourselves. Oh boy, What can I say? Well today was quite uneventful. Woke up at 8:00, then took a nap from 8:02 to 10:00, then a siesta from 10:04 to 11:30. Thrilling I know. Then I joined Jimmy to take Mr. Joe for his Doctor's Appointment, which I can say went better then expected. After dropping of Joe and Kitty, I ran some errands and picked up my honey an iced caffe latte to find out he left for work, but he selflessly drove back to pick it up. Not even a tip! I left to stop by and see Liam and Sean but no one was home , so I continued on. And then what every child fears happened to me! I passed a street corner and there was my mother Mary standing on it. Now I know the economy is rough, but its real bad when a 70 yr old woman has to peddle the corners. It's even sadder that she had to commute from Levittown to Bellmore. Well I stopped to see if all was Okay (what a devoted son), and after she used a lame excuse of waiting for Sean's bus, I left. You have to leave your parents some dignity, if you know what I mean. Then it was home to clean and sadly that was my day. Thank God it's Bucca Night at Blanche, so between Cha Cha back with his trophies and Head Bucca Bill recovered from his pinched nerve, I should have plenty of material for tommorrow.

One of the great success stories of 2009 has got to be Susan Boyle. Who after taking a ribbing for wanting to be a singer on Britian's Got Talent, backed it up with one of the most heartfelt performances of "I Dreamed a Dream". After a breakdown from all the press, she has reappeared and sounds just as great. I know she's an immigrant (check her papers), but here she is anyway singing "Wild Horses" on American soil. So enjoy and Tata for now>

Jimmy and the 3 Bears

Guess who's back? Very good you got it, but of course so could have Rudolph's misfit friends (But I shan't lessen your pride). I now have a office completely refinished, but until I get proper chairs I feel like Dr Ruth Westheimer at a bank counter. But hopefully size does matter making my Blog bigger and More Fabulous-er. I'm so sorry for the late post, but I had to wait for the end of the Emmy's. The 1st award went to Kristin Chenoweth for Pushing Daisies, and the bitch failed to acknowledge my blog as the tipping of the scales (Maybe her performance helped, I'll admit that). Any wannnabe 50 something, stewardess, off-off-off-off-broadway actor would die for Taffeta's endorsement! The Emmy's with Dr Horrible, Barney, Doogie, Tony's host Neil Patrick Harris as host went down from there. Alec "I hate my daughter" Baldwin beat out Jim Parsons "The Big Bang Theory". Jessica Lange (maybe a little cosmetic surgery would help) beat out the outstanding performance of Sigourney Weaver in "Prayers for Bobby". Please see it! It is another milestone in acceptance with a performance that I promise will leave you drained. Tina Fey walked away with best guest appearance for her Sarah Palin Impersonation, which is 2nd only to Sarah Palin herself, but a lot of Republicans didn't find her believable as a moron who thinks shooting animals from a helicopter is hunting, You Betcha! Overall, I once again enjoyed my Awards show (The Emmy's are Christmas, Grammys Kwanza, Tonys New Year's, and the Oscars most holy of holies Easter), and once again it goes to show the gays know how to host; though Jimmy can't believe they once again snubbed Dante's Cove. Since I'm talking about awards I must congratulate Cha Cha LaBucca who flew off to receive his Arthur Murray Awards in Albany. Fancy, Huh? He won best instructor and best studio, but of course, we know what he had to do to get those awards. AND Arthur Murray is dead so that makes it just plain SICK!

Jimmy's sister Claire was down from Maine, to visit Mr. Joe while he is convalescing. She was driven down by her friend Yogi, and stayed at the Marriott in Uniondale (Fancy-Schmancy). We dined at the finest restaurant's on Long Island (Well, those with price fix). I'll try and keep the trip short or I'll be typing for days. Claire arrived late Wednesday and dined with Jimmy and me in the Hotel. She saw her parents on Thursday and we dined at the Galleria in Westbury (The owner Dominic understands customer service and loyalty). Friday Claire and Jim headed straight out to the Estates of Greenlawn where we lunched on the town's finest pizza and they then rushed back to Merrick to visit with Aunt Roseann and Cousin Allison, wife of hot Joe (Oh well there goes any chance of her being a blog follower). We dined at Guy Anthony's in Merrick (The future host of the St. Pius Alumni). We were joined by Joannie: nee Pitch and her husband, Mike. Joannie is one of the examples of "How to take out a fence in 5 easy driving lessons". But she is beautiful and Mike one of the warmest, friendliest guys. Saturday was spent at Jones Beach, which was the "Push Claire take a photo" tour. I had a wonderful time getting to know Yogi, who I could have talked with for hours (and yes she got a word in edgewise). She's a Nomad from Chicago, San Francisco, 16 other places who has now settled in Maine. We then were joined at dinner by Billy, Sharon and Kevin. which brings me to today's title. With my highlights (I know it's hard to believe they're not natural) I felt like Goldilocks sitting across from Yogi (who forgot her Pick-A-Nick basket) bear (Come on, you knew that joke was coming), Kevin, who is a big old bear (For the hetro's that's the big hairy guys in leather you see in the parades wearing chaps and Billy, who lets face it just loves a good old bear (see past reference). Today Jimmy and Claire went out to Paudy's (Jim's Ex)in Downtown Islandia to visit. They got there before Happy Hour, so good chance Paudy will remember they were there. (Paudy's the newest follower, so I'll be back to 2 after he reads this). His current flame, the Susan Sugarbacker of the gays, Alex cooked up a plethora of food. I was unable to attend because of ... I'll get back to you on that, not sure which excuse Jimmy used! They had a long visit and headed home to Kitty and Joe while I put on my Snuggy and amped up the flat screen for The Emmy's. Claire and Yogi head back tomorrow to Maine, and I truly hope they both had a great visit.

Due to the renovations, I was unable to give credit where credit is truly due. On September 17th, Moe and Debbie celebrated their 3rd Anniversary as Mrs. and Mrs. and I was one of the honored guests to be a part of the glorious event 3 yrs. ago in Banffffff, Canada. My sister Eileen was asked to keep a diary of her memories, but when she left early the distinction fell on me. This momentous passing of the sword, errr, diary, would grow into the Diaries of Adventures in Taffeta, one gay man's journey, which of course begat this blog. So to the 2 people responsible I say Thank you, because I had so little time on my hands already. This is all I needed! And if at any time you felt insulted call them, I don't want to hear it.

I have decided to through my early support for next year's Emmys behind Glee. It is a TV comedy/musical about a Glee Club. It stars Matthew Morrison, who we've seen in Hairspray as Link and South Pacific; Lea Michele, who blew us away in Spring Awakening (and if they don't cast Idina Menzel as her mother they are idiots), and Lastly the best of the best Jane Lynch, who you might know as Charlie's psychiatrist on "Two and a Half Men". Next week Kristin herself guest stars and Cheyenne Jackson "Xanadu" is up coming. If you think I'm being over enthusiastic trust me it's on Fox and I don't easily promote anything they do. so Enjoy and Tata for now.