Dead, Dead, Dead

Good afternoon to all, even though it's morning for me. It was a long night bar tending, since all the bars on Long Island were dead last night. I arrived at work promptly at 3:50, to find out The Boss wasn't there yet. You know the day I don't make it there on time, Jack will be there promptly and give me the lecture on how important it is that the Bar be open at 4. Well , he dawdled in at 4:15 with Jeanie, the senior bartender, in tow. She was dolled up in her best fir coat looking like a raccoon that was rudely awoken from hibernation. Based on my tips, I wonder how she could afford such a nice coat? Just wondering, that's all (and in no way meant she's skimming off the register; okay, maybe a little inference). Right behind him was Mike the lawyer, and then Neil, the retired City Fireman. I can only say after handling Neil, who already at 4 was intoxicated; I can tolerate anyone. What a piece of work. Mike and I were in the middle of a story, when the gin soaked bigot came in the bar. Well it seems poor Neil is being held back because of the Black President, and no he didn't say black. He also had an opinion on the lower class neighborhoods and why they are poor ("it's in their nature to be lazy and thieves"). Then the police department was next. The asshole police have the nerve to pull him over when he's drunk or speeding, and should psychically know he's a city fireman, and the cops have the nerve to actually give him a hard time. This poor poor victim!!! Yet, I calmly stay quiet and go about my business. The jukebox was playing Glee music, and he then starts to malign the faggy music. Well you can pick on minorities, you can pick on the police, but no one picks on Glee and gets away with it. So I threw the bastard out. So there. One of my dear Old Old Old friends Stephen popped in, and we had a lovely chat for about an hour and a half. Maybe not chat, more like a skewering of all our dearest friends, which is always the highlight of my day. One of Stephen's New Years Resolutions is to get in the blog 3 times, so here is number 1; Really dear Flannel and a silk scarf, get dressed in the dark much?. Hope that made his day. It was an extremely quiet night after that, having to entertain Jeannie and The Boss while they played the video game. Well those kind of nights are going to happen, but I really have to start working on my client base. I'm thinking of dropping of fliers at A.A. meetings. Hey, if there going to fall of the wagon they might as well fall into Sugars, am I right.

I need to go to work on putting the Christmas puke (I mean decorations) away. There are 3 upcoming events to announce: 1. Bar Nite is at Sugars this Monday with me bar tending 2. Auntie M's Helping Hands ( a non-profit charity run by friends of mine) has just booked Aunt Barbara for Tupperware night on February 8Th (location to be announced). Don't hold me to it but through the grapevine; Aunt Barbara is the Dame Edna of plastic ware, she supposed to be hilarious and the number one seller of Tupperware in the Northeast, and 3. is Open Band Night at the Broadway Bar in Amityville, where my nephew Clayton's band Last Stand will be performing at 10:30.

Mustang Sally is all in a huff, so like a naked midget in the closet eating pizza I humblely give my first retraction. He never used the derogatory word chinks, to refer to the Chinese Food he was ordering. Don't get use to my apologies! So here's a little Aunt Barbara and TaTa for now.

My Lost Weekend

Welcome C.P. to my blog kingdom. Poor C.P. had to fly to Cancun for work, so I needed to extend his deadline on the Blackmail. So because C.P. and Tom are spineless and have caved in to the blackmail, I am currently working on my next victim.

I had a great weekend, which I'm sure you're all so excited to hear. The back hasn't been on it's best behavior and all the sneezing sings the body electric, but that's the price of Fame (If you didn't get the reference, tough!). I actually got to spend time with Mr. Riepe, which is really the only true happiness in the poor guy's life. We spent Saturday at Bed Bath and Beyond with our dozens of 20% off coupons. We were stalked by the senior citizens, who were hoping that we would drop some scraps, or leave our cart abandoned, which has happened before (Try to file a police report on stolen coupons, it just ain't easy). We then visited Mustang Sally, who has been suffering a bout of bronchitis (really female trouble, but we went along with the deception). So armed with sanitizer, we entered his home. Mustang has a great eye for decorating, but not so much in overnight guests. There was a huge oil slick on his couch, and everytime you try to sit you slip right to the floor. The E.P.A. needs to be called in everytime his weekend guests go home! We were there to set up Mustang's facebook page and bring him into the 21st century (Seriously, he doesn't even have an Itunes account, but we love him just the same). So while James siphoned the wine rack, I worked away on the FB page. Mustang's first request was for UPS drivers, but I had to explain it really didn't work that way. "So I can't use this to get laid, then why the #$#@ do I want this" is what the neighborhood heard next. On cue, Artsy Fartsy arrived, with a bag of chips (really is that what you bring to someone's house). Mustang explained they were ordering from the Chinks and we were welcome to join them (I have such politically correct friends). We passed explaining we had been invited to Syosset (the land of constipated people) after we were done here. So mustang is now facebook ready and I dragged "Adventures in Taffeta" over to his screen, so he's only a click away from being insulted. James and I left, leaving a trail of recyclables in our wake. We then called my sister's house to see if we could bring anything, and guess what, NO ANSWER!! Yes, we were invited over to an empty house (you'd think we'd get the hint), probably with a list of chores waiting on the counter (Screw that!). So we dined at home and had a pleasant night just the two of us.

Sunday, we got up early and headed into Huntington for brunch. 11 am and not an open place to be found. All brunches open at noon, which really just becomes lunch, right? So we headed off to Cold Spring Harbor to purchase candles for Miss Kitty, and enjoyed a intimate brunch, just Jimmy, me and the bloody marys. We then had had enough of the bitter cold, so we headed home and got a couple of chores done (Well Jimmy did the chores while I had my afternoon nap). Jimmy headed to Merrick early, so I had time to strip the christmas tree, and toss it to the curb; like a one night stand (that's what I hear).

So today has been uneventful, while I prep for work tonight at Sugar's,580 Smithtown Bypass, Hauppauge just east of Rte 111, phone #631-366-2120, from 4-4. The upstairs bathroom is coming along, with several bumps in the road, but I'll save that for a day I want to do a blog rant. Did you know our couple name of Stewart and Riepe makes us Streep, I wonder if Aunt Meryl considers us family? Just a thought! TaTa for now. If you aren't getting the videos, which I found out some aren't, just go to jts-adventuresintaffeta.blogspot.com and drag the orange box in the address bar to an open part of your screen and you will always be 2 clicks away from the full blog.

This is a full episode of Frasier but one of the funniest I have every seen, besides MTM's "Chuckles bites the dust" and Carol Burnett's "Went with the Wind". The Doctor is out, guest stars Captain Jean-Luc Picard as a gay opera director. Enjoy and TaTa for now