I was so looking forward to a quiet weekend, but I needed to get Miss Kitty to her hair appointment and trade in Brother Tom's cable box. Tom's cable box had been cutting out, and a day without cable is a day without sunshine in Tom's room. So after dropping off Miss Kitty, I headed over to Cablevision to exchange boxes. There were only 3 people on line, so I was sure it was my lucky day. NOT SO FAST! I got up to the counter and explained the problem, well the boxes got changed and all I needed to do was sign the form and show ID. It seems even if you give them a box, have a copy of the bill that matches the box, you can't exchange the box if your name is not on the account. So how do you do it? Get a letter from the account holder. What if the account holder is deceased? Like I said get a notarized letter from the account holder. No I didn't mistype, it seems if the account holder is dead, the letter has to be notarized. I left Mr. Lazy pants sitting on his stool and stormed out. I then called customer service, explained the problem, and within 3 mins was on the account. Yes, it seems easier to do things over the phone without ID then in person. So I reentered the store and guess what. Yes there is now 20 people on line. Thankfully, I got another employee who was willing to stand up and help me, and in 50 "fast" minutes I had a new box. As for Mr. Lazy Pants, he didn't even get off his ass the second time around and check to make sure I wasn't pulling a fast one. So store loyalty NO, customer friendly NO, hemorrhoids You Bet! With that behind me, I headed home. after collecting Miss Kitty, for a quiet evening of back pain from the standing in line. Vicodin Take me away! By the way, after all was said and done, The account was in James' name. Oops-a-daisy, i killed him off and didn't even send flowers.
James had stayed in Merrick Friday night, because of chores he needed to complete, which worked out because I had a wake and a funeral to attend Saturday morning. Vinny, a friend of mine for years, had lost his partner Angel to complications from a stroke. Angel was only 34, which is just tragic, even if he was 7 yrs. older than I. Caught that, did you? Okay 2 years. I arrived at the funeral home to find John "Mustang Sally" and Helen, the Polish Lesbian, inside. I geniously offered my condolences to Vinny, and slid up to the wallpaper. From there I watched poor Helen trying to read the memorial card. She tried with her glasses, without her glasses, with her arms extended yet nothing worked. It was then that someone explained to her that because Angel was Peurto Rican, the cards were in Spanish. Finally the light bulb appeared above her, a 4 watt bulb but still a bulb indeed. Helen hunted for English cards and arrived back with over a dozen. Mustang John was going to ask what she planned to do with them but thought better of it, realizing that all that mattered to Helen is that they were free. After seeing a really handsome mourner, I was going to quietly joke with John if it was appropriate to hit on someone at a wake, but the point was moot, as he bee-lined for the guy saying "Come here often?". Tacky! Tacky! Tacky! "Were you 2 close and give me details?" has a more high-browed ring. The funeral was directly after the wake, and though I'm sure it was a financial decision, it really is beneficial and convenient. I arrived at the church, to find "Yenta" Eddie at the church. I sat right next to Eddie and await the mass. As the Mass starts, I start to suffer back spasms in the pew. Whoever designed church pews knew what Penance is! To add further to the discomfort, the Mass is all in Spanish, Eddie is translating, and we seem to be the only 2 that know when to stand, sit and kneel. I thought all gays were altar boys?
I arrive Home before I'm in full spasm and rest before "Tsunami" James arrives. Once he shows, we are off to Martin Viette Nurseries. Thankfully, James is just searching for trees and bushes for his mothers house, though that has never stopped him from going on a shopping spree. But in one of those rare moments in the past 8 years, we walk out empty handed. Our next stop is K-Mart. James needs to disguise himself, I guess thinking Nordstroms has spies searching the lowend stores for traitors. We finish our chores late in the day, and we poop out at home. We were going up to the Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington to see Joan River's documentary, but alas even my popcorn craving can't get me out.
Sunday starts very early, Gardening waits for no man. I toil outside, while James heads back to Merrick to finish his assigned chores. Hey, if he doesn't Miss Kitty won't give him his allowance! After mastering the Art of floriculture, I start cooking the chicken wings for Cha Cha's house party, using James' very special secret recipe. When James readies himself , we head out. We arrive at Cha Cha's very fashionably late (An hour and half). We arrive, to see Cha Cha's guests weeding and laboring. What have I got us into. We adeptly avoid getting dragged into the drudgery, grabbing a beer and heading down towards the pool. Cha Cha has gotten a new undisciplined puppy. Well actually a 24 yr old boy toy named John, but trust me he's a lost puppy; Very Cute, hyperactive, and very exasperating! We finally got to meet Cha Cha's fag hag Michelle, who is loud, sarcastic, and a tad abrasive. WE LOVED HER IMMEDIATELY! We chat around the pool, while Cha Cha struggles to make the party low-key. The poor thing didn't hire any domestics, which is rule 3 in Gay Hosting 101. Since you asked, Rule 1. Put out the crap liquor, it's free so they'll drink it. Rule 2. Lock the bedroom doors or the tramps will be setting up camp. When Cha Cha wasn't busy fetching Lapso-Apso John a drink, he was busy readying the table for dinner. James got into a intellectual conversation with John to amuse himself. The Cliff Notes of the conversation are 1. He wants 3 kids , Cha Cha wants 2; 2.Cha Cha can drive the kids to soccer, while John teaches them sports; 3. They plan to redo the whole back yard 4. Cha Cha is going to buy him a Mustang (Car). Can anyone say STALKER? Any possible chance of things being civil disappeared when venomous Vinny showed. For those who don't know Vinny let me just say I'm benevolent comparatively. Yes, He's that bad. Vinny apologized for being late, but explains there are 4 High Schools on the way, and he got distracted. Right after Vinny, Bucca Bill and Insatiable showed up and that as they say made the coven complete. The night stayed pretty mellow with the main conversation being barbs at John, which soar over his head, and James and I left early. James left for Merrick, while I selflessly offered to go back for his left behind Sunglasses. Sparky, my dog, accompanied me. Well being the party animal he is, we stayed till the wee hours of the morning. We knew the party was over when John called Vinny "Pops". We sadly left Martin with Lapso Apso John and a mess. Hey I offered to give him my maid's number, So don't judge me!
Well I'm done rambling on so Tata for now. I usually just add videos to lighten up the blog or be informative, but trust me on this. THIS ONE IS HYSTERICAL! Enjoy.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Ferry and the EMMYS
If the Oscars is my Christmas, so then the Emmys are my Easter. So Happy Palm Sunday because the Emmy Nominations are out. The announcements at 8:30 were a must see, well not really because I slept through them, but I hear they're a must see. "Glee" received a total of 19 nominations. Who knew there were even 19 categories? I am elated to say Jane Lynch and Neil Patrick Harris are double nominees. Let's hear it for the Gays!. Lea Michele, Matthew Morrison, Kristin Chenoweth and Gay Kurt all received acting nominations. But alas Olivia Newton-John was omitted from Guest Female appearance in a Comedy. They're just jealous. And in the "It's about time" Category, Sharon Gless finally got nominated for "Burn Notice" after years of getting overlooked for "Queer as Folk". I bet you can guess where I'll be August 29th, Easter Sunday.
I got myself all dolled up for a "Cha Cha and me" day at Fire Island. Cha Cha arrived on time, but then spent 10 mins. pondering which shoes to wear; Flip Flops, Sneakers or Stiletto heels. After all the drama, we arrived at the ferries and headed off to Cherry Grove. Or so I thought! Okay we might have accidentally got on the Pines Ferry, but Cha Cha was sure that's where we going so I didn't bother to correct him. On the Ferry ride, Cha Cha mentioned that he was thinking of having a couple of friends over this weekend for a Pre-Housewarming party. I quickly accepted for myself and James and completely ignored the "I didn't mean you" look on his face! We disembarked the ferry, to sadly find that the "Blue Whale" wasn't yet open for cocktails. So we sat at the little cafe and admired all the buff boys walking around. Every God Damn one of them has a body to die for, even the Butta Boys (those are the boys with ripped bodies butta face like Medusa). Cha Cha dined on a Greek salad (He loves anything Greek, and I mean anything) and we bought ourselves 2 coronas. The beers were $15.20, and piss warm. Really! We could have bought the Mexicans who peed in the bottles for less!
Now it was time for our long trek over to Cherry Grove. We chose to skip the beach front and head through the "Meat Rack" to spare Cha Cha's shoes any sand damage. Cha Cha was talking about opening a new business of dance shoes and ear bobs (Didn't know the 2 go together). Right now the name "Head over heels" is the front runner for his new enterprise, but feel free to post if you have a better suggestion. Well being bored with his dance shoe talk, I day dreamed along till I had a revelation! We could open a Kiosk in the middle of the "Meat Rack" selling maps, Gatorade and Adult accessories for the decadent denizens that prowl the woods (If you get my drift). We could call it "Bears and Twinks and Drag Queens, Oh My!" Cha Cha is all excited about this joint venture. But the best idea was to place cameras about the woods and sell photos like theme parks do when you exit a ride. After the patrons exit the woods from their "Ride" they can opt to buy the blackmail, excuse me, photos for an overinflated price. Genius I tell you! Well that occupied our trip through the woods and we made it with our virtue intact. Okay whatever virtue we have left, Better?
At the Grove, we plopped ourselves down at the "Island Breeze" bar for the next hour awaiting the arrival of James, who is joining us for dinner. Upon his arrival, Cha Cha handed James his drink and quickly reminded him that Cha Cha was the weekday boyfriend. Well quicker then you can say "How you doing", James was searching for a dinner date. He argued 3 for dinner was bad luck, but I saw through the charade. With all that effort, he still came up empty, so just the 3 of us sat for dinner at "Top of the Bay". The restaurant was empty, which is a pity because it really is excellent. We chatted through dinner, when I surprisingly came up with a whole new whole new language, Pomedin. It's actually quite simple to learn. Just take 1 vicodin and wash it down with a pomegranate martini. Oops-a-daisy. With dinner over, we hurried for the ferry and sailed back to Sayville. We said our goodbyes to James, and Martin and I continued our weekday courtship at Blanche with Poor Pitiful Peter bartending. We stayed an hour playing the video game and headed home, of course getting stuck in construction traffic on the Northern State. While I blasted songs from the I-Pod, Cha Cha played "check out the hot guy in the car next to us" game. There are no real rules, except don't flirt with the Homophobes when you can't go anywhere. For 45 minutes Cha Cha handed out his card telling the guys to call him; . married was not a game breaker Finally we got past the construction, and I disposed of Cha Cha on his stoop and headed home.
I'll say TaTa for now and hope you enjoyed "The Misadventures of Cha Cha, Queen of the beach". Enjoy the physical remake , and not a Butta Boy in sight!
I got myself all dolled up for a "Cha Cha and me" day at Fire Island. Cha Cha arrived on time, but then spent 10 mins. pondering which shoes to wear; Flip Flops, Sneakers or Stiletto heels. After all the drama, we arrived at the ferries and headed off to Cherry Grove. Or so I thought! Okay we might have accidentally got on the Pines Ferry, but Cha Cha was sure that's where we going so I didn't bother to correct him. On the Ferry ride, Cha Cha mentioned that he was thinking of having a couple of friends over this weekend for a Pre-Housewarming party. I quickly accepted for myself and James and completely ignored the "I didn't mean you" look on his face! We disembarked the ferry, to sadly find that the "Blue Whale" wasn't yet open for cocktails. So we sat at the little cafe and admired all the buff boys walking around. Every God Damn one of them has a body to die for, even the Butta Boys (those are the boys with ripped bodies butta face like Medusa). Cha Cha dined on a Greek salad (He loves anything Greek, and I mean anything) and we bought ourselves 2 coronas. The beers were $15.20, and piss warm. Really! We could have bought the Mexicans who peed in the bottles for less!
Now it was time for our long trek over to Cherry Grove. We chose to skip the beach front and head through the "Meat Rack" to spare Cha Cha's shoes any sand damage. Cha Cha was talking about opening a new business of dance shoes and ear bobs (Didn't know the 2 go together). Right now the name "Head over heels" is the front runner for his new enterprise, but feel free to post if you have a better suggestion. Well being bored with his dance shoe talk, I day dreamed along till I had a revelation! We could open a Kiosk in the middle of the "Meat Rack" selling maps, Gatorade and Adult accessories for the decadent denizens that prowl the woods (If you get my drift). We could call it "Bears and Twinks and Drag Queens, Oh My!" Cha Cha is all excited about this joint venture. But the best idea was to place cameras about the woods and sell photos like theme parks do when you exit a ride. After the patrons exit the woods from their "Ride" they can opt to buy the blackmail, excuse me, photos for an overinflated price. Genius I tell you! Well that occupied our trip through the woods and we made it with our virtue intact. Okay whatever virtue we have left, Better?
At the Grove, we plopped ourselves down at the "Island Breeze" bar for the next hour awaiting the arrival of James, who is joining us for dinner. Upon his arrival, Cha Cha handed James his drink and quickly reminded him that Cha Cha was the weekday boyfriend. Well quicker then you can say "How you doing", James was searching for a dinner date. He argued 3 for dinner was bad luck, but I saw through the charade. With all that effort, he still came up empty, so just the 3 of us sat for dinner at "Top of the Bay". The restaurant was empty, which is a pity because it really is excellent. We chatted through dinner, when I surprisingly came up with a whole new whole new language, Pomedin. It's actually quite simple to learn. Just take 1 vicodin and wash it down with a pomegranate martini. Oops-a-daisy. With dinner over, we hurried for the ferry and sailed back to Sayville. We said our goodbyes to James, and Martin and I continued our weekday courtship at Blanche with Poor Pitiful Peter bartending. We stayed an hour playing the video game and headed home, of course getting stuck in construction traffic on the Northern State. While I blasted songs from the I-Pod, Cha Cha played "check out the hot guy in the car next to us" game. There are no real rules, except don't flirt with the Homophobes when you can't go anywhere. For 45 minutes Cha Cha handed out his card telling the guys to call him; . married was not a game breaker Finally we got past the construction, and I disposed of Cha Cha on his stoop and headed home.
I'll say TaTa for now and hope you enjoyed "The Misadventures of Cha Cha, Queen of the beach". Enjoy the physical remake , and not a Butta Boy in sight!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Cape May, Hetero Capital of the World
We are off to Cape May at 6:30 am, a half hour late because someone overslept. Don't go pointing fingers, that's not nice. Okay, it was me if you must know. Satisfied? While we drive, I ponder how we got here. For any aficionado of Classic TV and Movies, you know Alice got to go to Hawaii, Fran Fine got to go to London, and don't forget Maria Von Trapp traveled the Alps. What do I get? Jersey! But, as everyone knows, I suffer in silence. We arrive at 10, and the Rooney's are ready for breakfast, so we dine on the fine bagels of Cape May and their rather weak coffee. Liam has become preoccupied lately with relationships, so rather expectantly he asks James why he's not married. James asks him "who should I marry?" The response of "Uncle James' was matter of fact. James continues it further by asking Liam "Do you think he'll say yes?" Liam effervescently says "Oh Yes". Poor naive Liam doesn't realize it's not the question but the size of the Jewelry! We packed up after breakfast and headed to the beach with Sean in tow wheeling the Winnebago of toys behind him. I would have question the need for all the crap, but was afraid the cooler of beers would be the first to go, so I kept mum. It was a quiet afternoon, and I even dared to get my feet wet in the ocean; just call me Dora the Explorer. We worked our way back to the pool area for a late lunch, and after freshening up we headed downtown for dinner. We went to Cabana, which was pretty decent for a "Chili's" type place. While we waited for our table I instructed my brother-in-law in a game of pool. Liam on the other hand was playing this ring toss game that was supposed to be difficult, but he handled it like a master. Within 15 mins., he was giving instruction to the beer laden men of the bar. Though I would never think of using him that way, Liam is a magnet for athletic sports men. Okay maybe I'd use him a little.
Sunday was a gorgeous day, where we headed down to Henry's for breakfast. The boys were more fascinated with the cats under the deck then their food, and James couldn't comprehend a fine class eating establishment that didn't serve Mimosas with breakfast. After eating we split up, Sean, the boys and myself going off to miniature golf while James and Eileen rented matching bikes and rode all over town. The flowered baskets on the bikes were a nice touch. After getting my ego trounced by a 5 and 7 yr. old at golf, we headed off for ice cream to make me feel better. It didn't help! But the cocktails at poolside eased the pain. Then the highlight of the day came at dinner. We went to the Lobster House, where I believe the lobsters do the cooking. The screaming child should have been a warning, but it went unheeded. The waiter was far from competent, seemingly hired off to the street to fill in for the holiday weekend. When the waiter delivered James' entree asking him to taste it "to make sure the kitchen didn't screw it up", really left us oozing with confidence. Then the exorbitant check came which we gladly paid just to get out of there. The Lobsters deserve to be evicted from this house! It was now 9:30 and we now looked forward to the the 10 O'clock fireworks, which you probably could guess by now went off at 9. Luckily, we had a stash of sparklers to light off from our balcony. James' mother Miss Kitty had given us some she had been saving. What she failed to mention that she had saved them from when James was a boy. YEAH 40 Year Old Fireworks. But the night took an upturn when after numerous attempts, we got the Ming Dynasty sparklers lit, and from the balcony were able to enjoy the 10 O'clock fireworks from Wild Wood and the 10:30 show from Atlantic City.
Monday morning was a quick breakfast before The Rooney's had to pack. They packed up the car and did a last check of the room. Little Sean was told to check under the beds for any left behind toys. I don't know what kind of toys Eileen was talking about, but Sean pulled out a stiletto shoe, and the show wasn't dainty. What possibilities does that leave us: 1. Some big old drag queen was using the room as a changing room, 2. My brother-in-law wears heals for his posture or 3. Left behind by some Call Girl from the last tenant. I don't know about you but 3 is the worst option, because that means the rooms are rented by the hour and aren't cleaned very well. So I opt for 2 and hope Sean's posture improves. We all then headed to the beach for the afternoon and whiled away the hours building sand castles and playing paddle ball. After Liam and Family headed home at 5:30, James and I set off to investigate the town. We found the shopping hub and spent a couple of hours shopping and sat for dinner at the Pilot House. The food was excellent, the staff warm and extremely competent, and the cocktails to die for. They were so good the cocktail menu accidentally fell into my pocket. Yes, accidentally, are you calling me a liar? I thought not!
We awoke Tuesday morning and packed for our ride home. We sat one last time on the balcony, and finally got to see our first gay couple. We politely waved our boas, and headed off satisfied knowing there was another token couple to hold down the fort. We were 20 mins. into the trip home when my driving skills were brought into question. So I "graciously" turned over the driving to James, and settled in for a quiet, EXTREMELY QUIET, ride home. I really felt terrible when James' legs cramped on the way home, but there is a price to driving prudently, I Guess!
As I endeavor to edit quicker so the blog is more up-to-date, I'll say TaTa for now, and I'll be seeing you in the virtual world of Adventure's in Taffeta.
Sunday was a gorgeous day, where we headed down to Henry's for breakfast. The boys were more fascinated with the cats under the deck then their food, and James couldn't comprehend a fine class eating establishment that didn't serve Mimosas with breakfast. After eating we split up, Sean, the boys and myself going off to miniature golf while James and Eileen rented matching bikes and rode all over town. The flowered baskets on the bikes were a nice touch. After getting my ego trounced by a 5 and 7 yr. old at golf, we headed off for ice cream to make me feel better. It didn't help! But the cocktails at poolside eased the pain. Then the highlight of the day came at dinner. We went to the Lobster House, where I believe the lobsters do the cooking. The screaming child should have been a warning, but it went unheeded. The waiter was far from competent, seemingly hired off to the street to fill in for the holiday weekend. When the waiter delivered James' entree asking him to taste it "to make sure the kitchen didn't screw it up", really left us oozing with confidence. Then the exorbitant check came which we gladly paid just to get out of there. The Lobsters deserve to be evicted from this house! It was now 9:30 and we now looked forward to the the 10 O'clock fireworks, which you probably could guess by now went off at 9. Luckily, we had a stash of sparklers to light off from our balcony. James' mother Miss Kitty had given us some she had been saving. What she failed to mention that she had saved them from when James was a boy. YEAH 40 Year Old Fireworks. But the night took an upturn when after numerous attempts, we got the Ming Dynasty sparklers lit, and from the balcony were able to enjoy the 10 O'clock fireworks from Wild Wood and the 10:30 show from Atlantic City.
Monday morning was a quick breakfast before The Rooney's had to pack. They packed up the car and did a last check of the room. Little Sean was told to check under the beds for any left behind toys. I don't know what kind of toys Eileen was talking about, but Sean pulled out a stiletto shoe, and the show wasn't dainty. What possibilities does that leave us: 1. Some big old drag queen was using the room as a changing room, 2. My brother-in-law wears heals for his posture or 3. Left behind by some Call Girl from the last tenant. I don't know about you but 3 is the worst option, because that means the rooms are rented by the hour and aren't cleaned very well. So I opt for 2 and hope Sean's posture improves. We all then headed to the beach for the afternoon and whiled away the hours building sand castles and playing paddle ball. After Liam and Family headed home at 5:30, James and I set off to investigate the town. We found the shopping hub and spent a couple of hours shopping and sat for dinner at the Pilot House. The food was excellent, the staff warm and extremely competent, and the cocktails to die for. They were so good the cocktail menu accidentally fell into my pocket. Yes, accidentally, are you calling me a liar? I thought not!
We awoke Tuesday morning and packed for our ride home. We sat one last time on the balcony, and finally got to see our first gay couple. We politely waved our boas, and headed off satisfied knowing there was another token couple to hold down the fort. We were 20 mins. into the trip home when my driving skills were brought into question. So I "graciously" turned over the driving to James, and settled in for a quiet, EXTREMELY QUIET, ride home. I really felt terrible when James' legs cramped on the way home, but there is a price to driving prudently, I Guess!
As I endeavor to edit quicker so the blog is more up-to-date, I'll say TaTa for now, and I'll be seeing you in the virtual world of Adventure's in Taffeta.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
An even weaker week
My weekly routine has become very humdrum. I know that's not exactly what you signed on for, but even in a life of opulance there must come some insignificance. Please hold back the tears! Not even a Bucca Bill night at Blanche since he's still on a "Daddy and Me" trip. Instead Hans was working the bar, and though he's very very easy on the eyes, he is as we say missing a couple of tools in the shed.
This week was filled with Ho-Hum errands and chores, so when I was invited to Prime restaurant as "Dizzy's" guest, you'd think I jump at the chance. RIGHT? Not so fast. See to accept the invitation, you need to verify that she brought her credit card, make sure the restaurant accepts it, and if the credit line is available. That's just too much work. "Dizzy" was taking Mother Mary to dinner for her birthday, with My Uncle Bill and Aunt Flo. So I "gratefully" declined but opted to join them for cocktails before hand. It was a gorgeous day for cocktails on the deck, and I arrived right on time to have Billy and Flo already outside. So I quickly ordered a cocktail and sprung for the tab, before others arrived. Yes, I have this down to a science!. I enjoyed a great chat with Bill and Flo, until "Dizzy", Mary and Jack in tow showed up. I stayed another 15 minutes watching "Dizzy" work on her tan. I walked with them to their table and then skiddadled. Actually tonight was the start of James' mini vacation so we had a nice private dinner planned. We even contemplated getting a table on the other side of the restaurant so we could watch the "Dance of the Dinner Check" play out, but chose otherwise.
I had gotten all my Miss Kitty chores out of the way earlier in the week and had watched Liam and Sean on Thursday, so my Friday was free. And what does James decide to do on his first day of vacation? You got it, go into work. He obviously has a difficult time with the English language, so here goes
va·ca·tion /veɪˈkeɪʃən, və-/ Show Spelled[vey-key-shuhn, vuh-] Show IPA
–noun
1. a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday: Schoolchildren are on vacation now.
Now was that so hard? So I clean around the house, did wash, and packed for our trip to Cape May. We will be vacationing with Eileen and Sean, AKA Liams Parents, Sean Jr. and Liam. Okay I see your point, I'm traveling witht the kids I watch during the week, so maybe I'll brush up on the definition of vacation too. After packing, I got at least a draft of the blog done, while Sparky's sitter,Ophelia, hovers over my shoulder, attempting to get a first glance at the blog. But of course, when trying to save it, It once again disappears from the screen. After a few choice words that left Ophelia running for the guest bedroom, I leave a incomplete blog. Hemingway never had it so hard!
Well Tata for now, until my great diary on our trip to the Jersey shore is published.
Martina McBride and Pat Benatar Duet
This week was filled with Ho-Hum errands and chores, so when I was invited to Prime restaurant as "Dizzy's" guest, you'd think I jump at the chance. RIGHT? Not so fast. See to accept the invitation, you need to verify that she brought her credit card, make sure the restaurant accepts it, and if the credit line is available. That's just too much work. "Dizzy" was taking Mother Mary to dinner for her birthday, with My Uncle Bill and Aunt Flo. So I "gratefully" declined but opted to join them for cocktails before hand. It was a gorgeous day for cocktails on the deck, and I arrived right on time to have Billy and Flo already outside. So I quickly ordered a cocktail and sprung for the tab, before others arrived. Yes, I have this down to a science!. I enjoyed a great chat with Bill and Flo, until "Dizzy", Mary and Jack in tow showed up. I stayed another 15 minutes watching "Dizzy" work on her tan. I walked with them to their table and then skiddadled. Actually tonight was the start of James' mini vacation so we had a nice private dinner planned. We even contemplated getting a table on the other side of the restaurant so we could watch the "Dance of the Dinner Check" play out, but chose otherwise.
I had gotten all my Miss Kitty chores out of the way earlier in the week and had watched Liam and Sean on Thursday, so my Friday was free. And what does James decide to do on his first day of vacation? You got it, go into work. He obviously has a difficult time with the English language, so here goes
va·ca·tion /veɪˈkeɪʃən, və-/ Show Spelled[vey-key-shuhn, vuh-] Show IPA
–noun
1. a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday: Schoolchildren are on vacation now.
Now was that so hard? So I clean around the house, did wash, and packed for our trip to Cape May. We will be vacationing with Eileen and Sean, AKA Liams Parents, Sean Jr. and Liam. Okay I see your point, I'm traveling witht the kids I watch during the week, so maybe I'll brush up on the definition of vacation too. After packing, I got at least a draft of the blog done, while Sparky's sitter,Ophelia, hovers over my shoulder, attempting to get a first glance at the blog. But of course, when trying to save it, It once again disappears from the screen. After a few choice words that left Ophelia running for the guest bedroom, I leave a incomplete blog. Hemingway never had it so hard!
Well Tata for now, until my great diary on our trip to the Jersey shore is published.
Martina McBride and Pat Benatar Duet
Monday, June 28, 2010
Buddha was Breast-Fed
I had originally typed my whole blog and when I pressed save to edit the whole thing it completely disappeared, so I am once again typing at midnight cursing the person who thought it would be great for me to do a blog!!!!
As I was saying, oh that's right you wouldn't know because my pearls of wisdom are "Went with the wind". So here's the shortened version and hopefully still as brilliant. I was leaving my chiropractor today, when I observed on the car in front of me the bumper sticker "Buddda was Breast-fed". I found it amusing at first but by the time I arrived home, I was befuddled. Wasn't everyone in 400 BC breast-fed? It's not like they ran down to the 7-11 for Similac. And wouldn't that mean Pontius Pilate, Atilla the Hun and Ivan the terrible were also breast-fed? I don't hear their parents going "That's my boy!!". But for arguments sake, I'll say breast-feeding is what made Buddha, Buddha; then by all means breast-feed your kids so they too can be obese, megalomaniacs who run around saying "I'm God, I'm God". But enough about Buddha; let's talk about me- I was bottle fed!
Friday Night-- Dined on pheasant at home while we watched PBS. Fine it was steak, potatos and Kathy Griffin, but don't complain about the boring blogs. I love Kathy Griffin, but her Bible Belt special was a waste. The same old, same old goes like this- Hi to all "My Gays", pick on Pam Anderson, talk about "Dancing with the stars", chastise all the straight guys who secretly watched it, and then talk about Renee Zellweger and thank everyone.
Saturday -- Tickets to South Pacific for nephew's birthday, who cancels the night before. So I scramble for replacements. "Mustang Sally" John detests the show, Head Bucca is on a "daddy and me" trip with his son, Cha Cha needs to dance because a dancer dances, and 2 Groovy friends rock with James Taylor/ Carole King (Yes, that's why I called, so next time get messages quicker), and Tom and Cabbage Paul say yes but can't get a flight out of Denver. So I select Mother Mary, of course telling her it was her surprise birthday present; that's why I'm her favorite daughter. But it still leaves one other person, so I call gullible sister Eileen, who I neglect to tell that Mother is joining us. So with these 2 in tow, Myself, James and my favorite godson R.J. (Yes, my only godson, but I hate to burst his bubble) head to the city. We almost lost Mary and Eileen among the flea market kiosks on the grounds of Lincoln Center, but with the lure of cocktails and restrooms we coax them in. The show was wonderful. We had it seen it before, which explains why James had opera glasses for the 5th row. He whipped them out just in time for the gratuitous, male butt-ular, nudity. After Mary's Scotch and soda during intermission, she decided to hum the whole 2nd act, and believe me when I say I got my singing voice from her. Eileen was none too pleased. We headed directly home, so James could attend an 80th birthday party. While James, brother Tom and Miss Kitty headed off to Patrick's for the party, I had dinner with the family, dropped off Sparky and headed to the party. James and Family were gone, when I arrived. Convenient, wouldn't you say? This party should of had a coat check girl to confiscate all flammable objects so you wouldn't set off the highly combustible guests. Looks like they passed six sheets to the wind an hour ago! I bravely said Hello and quickly drank my coffee (Yes, real coffee, no additives), and just as I was about to leave they decided to play "strip the 24 yr. old studly bartender". Well not wanting to be a party pooper, I played along with the game. And of course my Lo-Jack system kicks in and James calls beckoning me home. Like if I get even close to fun, he knows!. I dutifully go home, check Facebook so I can befriend the bartender (and according to his stats a personal trainer, too), and head off to sweet dreams in bed!
Sunday-- James heads into work early, while I tend to my back spasms. The same spasms that always kick in when James pulls out his "Honey-Do List". James makes it out in time so we can catch the sunset in Northport, which has parking unlike the abyss of Port Jefferson. We then had a quick dinner and sent James on his merry way to pack for Toronto, while I search for a personal trainer on-line! STILL NO RESPONSES, DAMN IT.
Aren't you glad you got the short version. Well, as I always say TaTa for now and DON'T DRINK THE BREAST MILK IT'S SPOILED
As I was saying, oh that's right you wouldn't know because my pearls of wisdom are "Went with the wind". So here's the shortened version and hopefully still as brilliant. I was leaving my chiropractor today, when I observed on the car in front of me the bumper sticker "Buddda was Breast-fed". I found it amusing at first but by the time I arrived home, I was befuddled. Wasn't everyone in 400 BC breast-fed? It's not like they ran down to the 7-11 for Similac. And wouldn't that mean Pontius Pilate, Atilla the Hun and Ivan the terrible were also breast-fed? I don't hear their parents going "That's my boy!!". But for arguments sake, I'll say breast-feeding is what made Buddha, Buddha; then by all means breast-feed your kids so they too can be obese, megalomaniacs who run around saying "I'm God, I'm God". But enough about Buddha; let's talk about me- I was bottle fed!
Friday Night-- Dined on pheasant at home while we watched PBS. Fine it was steak, potatos and Kathy Griffin, but don't complain about the boring blogs. I love Kathy Griffin, but her Bible Belt special was a waste. The same old, same old goes like this- Hi to all "My Gays", pick on Pam Anderson, talk about "Dancing with the stars", chastise all the straight guys who secretly watched it, and then talk about Renee Zellweger and thank everyone.
Saturday -- Tickets to South Pacific for nephew's birthday, who cancels the night before. So I scramble for replacements. "Mustang Sally" John detests the show, Head Bucca is on a "daddy and me" trip with his son, Cha Cha needs to dance because a dancer dances, and 2 Groovy friends rock with James Taylor/ Carole King (Yes, that's why I called, so next time get messages quicker), and Tom and Cabbage Paul say yes but can't get a flight out of Denver. So I select Mother Mary, of course telling her it was her surprise birthday present; that's why I'm her favorite daughter. But it still leaves one other person, so I call gullible sister Eileen, who I neglect to tell that Mother is joining us. So with these 2 in tow, Myself, James and my favorite godson R.J. (Yes, my only godson, but I hate to burst his bubble) head to the city. We almost lost Mary and Eileen among the flea market kiosks on the grounds of Lincoln Center, but with the lure of cocktails and restrooms we coax them in. The show was wonderful. We had it seen it before, which explains why James had opera glasses for the 5th row. He whipped them out just in time for the gratuitous, male butt-ular, nudity. After Mary's Scotch and soda during intermission, she decided to hum the whole 2nd act, and believe me when I say I got my singing voice from her. Eileen was none too pleased. We headed directly home, so James could attend an 80th birthday party. While James, brother Tom and Miss Kitty headed off to Patrick's for the party, I had dinner with the family, dropped off Sparky and headed to the party. James and Family were gone, when I arrived. Convenient, wouldn't you say? This party should of had a coat check girl to confiscate all flammable objects so you wouldn't set off the highly combustible guests. Looks like they passed six sheets to the wind an hour ago! I bravely said Hello and quickly drank my coffee (Yes, real coffee, no additives), and just as I was about to leave they decided to play "strip the 24 yr. old studly bartender". Well not wanting to be a party pooper, I played along with the game. And of course my Lo-Jack system kicks in and James calls beckoning me home. Like if I get even close to fun, he knows!. I dutifully go home, check Facebook so I can befriend the bartender (and according to his stats a personal trainer, too), and head off to sweet dreams in bed!
Sunday-- James heads into work early, while I tend to my back spasms. The same spasms that always kick in when James pulls out his "Honey-Do List". James makes it out in time so we can catch the sunset in Northport, which has parking unlike the abyss of Port Jefferson. We then had a quick dinner and sent James on his merry way to pack for Toronto, while I search for a personal trainer on-line! STILL NO RESPONSES, DAMN IT.
Aren't you glad you got the short version. Well, as I always say TaTa for now and DON'T DRINK THE BREAST MILK IT'S SPOILED
Why Kristin Chenoweth Rules
Kristin is by far one of the most talented artists and comes across as petit, graceful, and classy, so it comes as a bit of surprise to see such a feisty editorial written by her. I guess the moral of the story is DON'T CROSS HER FRIENDS. Below is a letter written by Kristin to the Newsweek editors responding to their article asserting that Gay males cannot come across as straight. The writer of the article is himself gay, and probably so flaming that no one ever has mistaken him for straight. Had he not been gay, the article I'm sure never would have been published, and he would have to find some other self-loathing topic to write about.
"As a longtime fan of Newsweek and as the actress currently starring opposite the incredibly talented (and sexy!) Sean Hayes in the Broadway revival of “Promises, Promises,” I was shocked on many levels to see Newsweek publishing Ramin Setoodeh’s horrendously homophobic “Straight Jacket,” which argues that gay actors are simply unfit to play straight. From where I stand, on stage, with Hayes, every night — I’ve observed nothing “wooden” or “weird” in his performance, nor have I noticed the seemingly unwieldy presence of a “pink elephant” in the Broadway Theater. (The Drama League, Outer Critics Circle and Tony members must have also missed that large animal when nominating Hayes’ performance for its highest honors this year.)
I’d normally keep silent on such matters and write such small-minded viewpoints off as perhaps a blip in common sense. But the offense I take to this article, and your decision to publish it, is not really even related to my profession or my work with Hayes or Jonathan Groff (also singled out in the article as too “queeny” to play “straight.”)
This article offends me because I am a human being, a woman and a Christian. For example, there was a time when Jewish actors had to change their names because anti-Semites thought no Jew could convincingly play Gentile. Setoodeh even goes so far as to justify his knee-jerk homophobic reaction to gay actors by accepting and endorsing that “as viewers, we are molded by a society obsessed with dissecting sexuality, starting with the locker room torture in junior high school.” Really? We want to maintain and proliferate the same kind of bullying that makes children cry and in some recent cases have even taken their own lives? That’s so sad, Newsweek! The examples he provides (what scientists call “selection bias”) to prove his “gays can’t play straight” hypothesis are sloppy in my opinion. Come on now!
Openly gay Groff is too “queeny” to play Lea Michelle’s boyfriend in GLEE, but is a “heartthrob” when he does it in Spring Awakening? Cynthia Nixon only “got away with it” ’cause she peaked before coming out? I don’t know if you’ve missed the giant Sex and the City movie posters, but it seems most of America is “buying it.” I could go on, but I assume these will be taken care of in your “Corrections” this week.
Similarly, thousands of people have traveled from all over the world to enjoy Hayes’ performance and don’t seem to have one single issue with his sexuality! They have no problem buying him as a love-torn heterosexual man. Audiences aren’t giving a darn about who a person is sleeping with or his personal life. Give me a break! We’re actors first, whether we’re playing prostitutes, baseball players, or the Lion King. Audiences come to theater to go on a journey. It’s a character and it’s called acting, and I’d put Hayes and his brilliance up there with some of the greatest actors period.
Lastly, as someone who’s been proudly advocating for equal rights and supporting GLBT causes for as long as I can remember, I know how much it means to young people struggling with their sexuality to see out & proud actors like Sean Hayes, Jonathan Groff, Neil Patrick Harris and Cynthia Nixon succeeding in their work without having to keep their sexuality a secret. No one needs to see a bigoted, factually inaccurate article that tells people who deviate from heterosexual norms that they can’t be open about who they are and still achieve their dreams. I am told on good authority that Mr. Setoodeh is a gay man himself and I would hope, as the author of this article, he would at least understand that. I encourage Newsweek to embrace stories which promote acceptance, love, unity and singing and dancing for all!"
James was a bit hurt that she didn't mention Mr. Cheyenne Jackson, the lead actor in Xanadu, who had the gays and woman drooling in the aisles. Cheyenne has been in the forefront of Gay Actors who take on straight roles, including his recurring role on "30 Rock". And as for Johnathon Groff, WHO KNEW?! .
"As a longtime fan of Newsweek and as the actress currently starring opposite the incredibly talented (and sexy!) Sean Hayes in the Broadway revival of “Promises, Promises,” I was shocked on many levels to see Newsweek publishing Ramin Setoodeh’s horrendously homophobic “Straight Jacket,” which argues that gay actors are simply unfit to play straight. From where I stand, on stage, with Hayes, every night — I’ve observed nothing “wooden” or “weird” in his performance, nor have I noticed the seemingly unwieldy presence of a “pink elephant” in the Broadway Theater. (The Drama League, Outer Critics Circle and Tony members must have also missed that large animal when nominating Hayes’ performance for its highest honors this year.)
I’d normally keep silent on such matters and write such small-minded viewpoints off as perhaps a blip in common sense. But the offense I take to this article, and your decision to publish it, is not really even related to my profession or my work with Hayes or Jonathan Groff (also singled out in the article as too “queeny” to play “straight.”)
This article offends me because I am a human being, a woman and a Christian. For example, there was a time when Jewish actors had to change their names because anti-Semites thought no Jew could convincingly play Gentile. Setoodeh even goes so far as to justify his knee-jerk homophobic reaction to gay actors by accepting and endorsing that “as viewers, we are molded by a society obsessed with dissecting sexuality, starting with the locker room torture in junior high school.” Really? We want to maintain and proliferate the same kind of bullying that makes children cry and in some recent cases have even taken their own lives? That’s so sad, Newsweek! The examples he provides (what scientists call “selection bias”) to prove his “gays can’t play straight” hypothesis are sloppy in my opinion. Come on now!
Openly gay Groff is too “queeny” to play Lea Michelle’s boyfriend in GLEE, but is a “heartthrob” when he does it in Spring Awakening? Cynthia Nixon only “got away with it” ’cause she peaked before coming out? I don’t know if you’ve missed the giant Sex and the City movie posters, but it seems most of America is “buying it.” I could go on, but I assume these will be taken care of in your “Corrections” this week.
Similarly, thousands of people have traveled from all over the world to enjoy Hayes’ performance and don’t seem to have one single issue with his sexuality! They have no problem buying him as a love-torn heterosexual man. Audiences aren’t giving a darn about who a person is sleeping with or his personal life. Give me a break! We’re actors first, whether we’re playing prostitutes, baseball players, or the Lion King. Audiences come to theater to go on a journey. It’s a character and it’s called acting, and I’d put Hayes and his brilliance up there with some of the greatest actors period.
Lastly, as someone who’s been proudly advocating for equal rights and supporting GLBT causes for as long as I can remember, I know how much it means to young people struggling with their sexuality to see out & proud actors like Sean Hayes, Jonathan Groff, Neil Patrick Harris and Cynthia Nixon succeeding in their work without having to keep their sexuality a secret. No one needs to see a bigoted, factually inaccurate article that tells people who deviate from heterosexual norms that they can’t be open about who they are and still achieve their dreams. I am told on good authority that Mr. Setoodeh is a gay man himself and I would hope, as the author of this article, he would at least understand that. I encourage Newsweek to embrace stories which promote acceptance, love, unity and singing and dancing for all!"
James was a bit hurt that she didn't mention Mr. Cheyenne Jackson, the lead actor in Xanadu, who had the gays and woman drooling in the aisles. Cheyenne has been in the forefront of Gay Actors who take on straight roles, including his recurring role on "30 Rock". And as for Johnathon Groff, WHO KNEW?! .
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A weak week
Tuesday was a day of recovery from a Bucca Boy Night, and a needed rest up for the Liam Storm. I had babysitting duties on Wednesday and Thursday. With James out of town, I had time to catch up on my Pogo Games, My Kindle reading and of course anything resembling useless.
Wednesday, I picked up Liam and headed off to find something to do. I was void of ideas, so I went to pick up my other nephews RJ and Chris. But alas the poor saps were still taking their finals in school, so I was at a loss what to do. We ended up at the Broadway Mall in Hicksville where we dined on the fine cuisine of McDonalds and headed in for the 12:30 showing of Toy Story 3. There have been numerous postings on Facebook and even an article in Time magazine how this movie has brought grown men to tears. What happened to the good old days, when men kept their feelings bottled up inside and developed ulcers. The pendulum has swung in the opposite direction and guys are announcing "I Cried". Come on, We all got Misty eyed at the GE commercials and the coffee one where the soldier son returns home to make a pot of coffee for his mother, but we didn't take out ads declaring it! Well, the movie was wonderful and it has been 15 yrs. since the last movie and it feels like the toys never left us. Yet, I am sad to say, I left the movie dry-eyed.
Thursday was an early call day for my Manny duties. I got Liam before 10 and headed right off to shopping with Miss Kitty. We needed to hurry along because it was Mother Mary's birthday and Liam and I were treating her to IHop. You're Jealous I bet. Call me on your 73 birthday and I'll splurge! . We had an ex-nun as a waitress. I'm not really sure, but she continually told me to straighten up, looked completely bored with her job and whacked me on the knuckles with a ladle several times. Liam and I headed off to check on Sparky, so while I did bills, Liam watched a movie and covered my bed in Popcorn kernels. On our way home we were hit by a freak storm. It poured buckets of rain, but the sun was shining. I needed my sunglasses to drive. Liam was so amazed; "I've never seen this in my whole life" he said. After giggling at his 5 yrs. life experience, I told him I had never seen this before. Well the look I got was like " you've seen the parting of the Red Sea but never seen this before, Really?" Little bastard! Well I quickly dumped him off, where he turned himself in for his many misdeeds of the day, including swinging on my arm when I wasn't looking. It was like the 4th of July came early, So Many Stars!
Friday came and I made it a me day. I first needed to stop at Cha Cha's and turn on his sprinkler system. I was surprised at how green his grass was with no sprinklers till Cha Cha's neighbor informed me I had the wrong house. OOPS-A-Daisy! It seems the past owners didn't like the aesthetics of sprinklers, so they planted plants right on top of the heads. After digging the plants out and submerging myself in mud I asked Cha Cha for a dry shirt. He said he would look, but didn't think he anything my size. Like I need a Mu Mu, you 5 pound tramp. Well I squeezed into the shirt he gave me and headed for my hair appointment. Gina Marie is such a miracle worker, she cut my hair and found my natural blond hair color underneath (which will lighten further with exposure to the sun) No really this is my natural color. I then headed off for the chiropractor who would adjust my back after Liam used me for a Jungle "Jim". I had up to this point sedating myself every 4 hrs. and getting no sleep. Thank God Scott is a miracle worker too.
Well I titled it a weak week for a reason. So Tata for now!
Wednesday, I picked up Liam and headed off to find something to do. I was void of ideas, so I went to pick up my other nephews RJ and Chris. But alas the poor saps were still taking their finals in school, so I was at a loss what to do. We ended up at the Broadway Mall in Hicksville where we dined on the fine cuisine of McDonalds and headed in for the 12:30 showing of Toy Story 3. There have been numerous postings on Facebook and even an article in Time magazine how this movie has brought grown men to tears. What happened to the good old days, when men kept their feelings bottled up inside and developed ulcers. The pendulum has swung in the opposite direction and guys are announcing "I Cried". Come on, We all got Misty eyed at the GE commercials and the coffee one where the soldier son returns home to make a pot of coffee for his mother, but we didn't take out ads declaring it! Well, the movie was wonderful and it has been 15 yrs. since the last movie and it feels like the toys never left us. Yet, I am sad to say, I left the movie dry-eyed.
Thursday was an early call day for my Manny duties. I got Liam before 10 and headed right off to shopping with Miss Kitty. We needed to hurry along because it was Mother Mary's birthday and Liam and I were treating her to IHop. You're Jealous I bet. Call me on your 73 birthday and I'll splurge! . We had an ex-nun as a waitress. I'm not really sure, but she continually told me to straighten up, looked completely bored with her job and whacked me on the knuckles with a ladle several times. Liam and I headed off to check on Sparky, so while I did bills, Liam watched a movie and covered my bed in Popcorn kernels. On our way home we were hit by a freak storm. It poured buckets of rain, but the sun was shining. I needed my sunglasses to drive. Liam was so amazed; "I've never seen this in my whole life" he said. After giggling at his 5 yrs. life experience, I told him I had never seen this before. Well the look I got was like " you've seen the parting of the Red Sea but never seen this before, Really?" Little bastard! Well I quickly dumped him off, where he turned himself in for his many misdeeds of the day, including swinging on my arm when I wasn't looking. It was like the 4th of July came early, So Many Stars!
Friday came and I made it a me day. I first needed to stop at Cha Cha's and turn on his sprinkler system. I was surprised at how green his grass was with no sprinklers till Cha Cha's neighbor informed me I had the wrong house. OOPS-A-Daisy! It seems the past owners didn't like the aesthetics of sprinklers, so they planted plants right on top of the heads. After digging the plants out and submerging myself in mud I asked Cha Cha for a dry shirt. He said he would look, but didn't think he anything my size. Like I need a Mu Mu, you 5 pound tramp. Well I squeezed into the shirt he gave me and headed for my hair appointment. Gina Marie is such a miracle worker, she cut my hair and found my natural blond hair color underneath (which will lighten further with exposure to the sun) No really this is my natural color. I then headed off for the chiropractor who would adjust my back after Liam used me for a Jungle "Jim". I had up to this point sedating myself every 4 hrs. and getting no sleep. Thank God Scott is a miracle worker too.
Well I titled it a weak week for a reason. So Tata for now!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sugar-Free
James is gone off to L.A., so while the pussy is away, the ever handsome mouse will play. I have sad news to report, I have left the employment of Sugars. The back spasms had become to much. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!, but ask me privately. I guess during the winter it wasn't so bad, but when spring came it was too much. On weekends, it was James barking orders "weed this" , "pluck that" and my favorite "Hoe, like you mean it!". There was no rest going into Mondays, and what's the use of bartending if you can't drink because you're on medications. Well sleeping with the customers is always an option, but you should have seen my customers. . With my current jobless status, it left the time ripe to revive the Bucca Boys of Bedraggled Blanche! Yeah, Bedraggled! Have a problem with that word? Thought not! So I rested all afternoon for the gala event. The Cha Cha, Head Bucca, and Me- The guy who still hasn't got a cool nickname. Well the night was uneventful, other then the visiting banker, who wanted to play strip pool and didn't even needed the pool table. So Prince Albert came out of the can. I hang out at such classy establishments. Well it was a quiet night and headed home at a reasonable hour. Well reasonable for me: translation; before last call.
My new craze of craziness is now directed at employees who feel it's okay to carry on a cellphone conversation , while waiting on customers., or even better making you wait till their conversation is over. It seems common etiquette has gone out the window and bounced off 2 cellphone towers. 7-11 seems to be at the top of the list. Of course, the more savvy one's hide out in the the refrigeration unit, while the line of customers continues to grow. I have now decided to voice my opinion, but it seems that it has just led to confusion on their part, probably due in part to the relentless bombardment of radio waves bouncing around in their heads. I know that my critics will say "with what they make, what do you expect", but "The Peter Principle" would clearly explain that they have reached their plateau of inability and that's where they'll sit. Yes, "The Peter Principle" is a real business theory, not a gay euphemism. Well there they will sit on their cellphone making me wait to pay for my coffee, with the loads of seniors waiting to play Lotto with their dollar and a dream.
Just in case you haven't thought politics is crazy enough, I would like to nominate Sharon Angle from Nevada as "Queen of Behavioral modification aka "The Loony Bin". Tata for now.
My new craze of craziness is now directed at employees who feel it's okay to carry on a cellphone conversation , while waiting on customers., or even better making you wait till their conversation is over. It seems common etiquette has gone out the window and bounced off 2 cellphone towers. 7-11 seems to be at the top of the list. Of course, the more savvy one's hide out in the the refrigeration unit, while the line of customers continues to grow. I have now decided to voice my opinion, but it seems that it has just led to confusion on their part, probably due in part to the relentless bombardment of radio waves bouncing around in their heads. I know that my critics will say "with what they make, what do you expect", but "The Peter Principle" would clearly explain that they have reached their plateau of inability and that's where they'll sit. Yes, "The Peter Principle" is a real business theory, not a gay euphemism. Well there they will sit on their cellphone making me wait to pay for my coffee, with the loads of seniors waiting to play Lotto with their dollar and a dream.
Just in case you haven't thought politics is crazy enough, I would like to nominate Sharon Angle from Nevada as "Queen of Behavioral modification aka "The Loony Bin". Tata for now.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day
To All the Father's out there I wish I heartfelt Happy Father's Day. To all you Sugar Daddies not so much. The one true wish I always had was to be a Father; all the injuries, all the bills, all the endless hours, but one of the greatest rewards. I'll settle for Godfather and Uncle, where you get all the joy, and then hand them back to the parents when your bored, and head home for a nap. Plus, watching James' panicked, nauseated look the first time he held Liam with a dirty diaper, I realized I would have been on my own.
Promises, Promises was last night. James and I attended the show with Cha Cha LaBucca and his date Dr. David. Poor Cha Cha has seen it necessary to go out of state for dates lately; either wearing out all the Long Island options, or looking for a more superior dashing selection. Let's see there was Boston, Canada and Guadeloupe. Okay Okay he wore Long Island out! James and I got in early for dinner, and James selected Barbetta on W 46th st, because of their quaint outside dining. Well Mr. Oblivious was perplexed by my bogus excitement, obviously forgetting the last time we were there I got crapped on by the birds in their trees. Doesn't that make for delectable dining? Thankfully I survived dinner feces free, and had a very enjoyable dinner. We set off to meet Cha Cha and David at Sardi's for a quick cocktail and then off to the theater. David is just as tall as me and definitely sturdier, so what do you think petite Cha Cha does. He sticks poor David inside next to the obese women who has wedged her cheeks in to the seat and cascaded over into David's seat. Guess we won't be seeing him again! . If you are interested, I was very comfortable in the aisle seat. Promises, Promises stars Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes (Jack in "Will and Grace"). I thoroughly enjoyed the show, and was greatly surprised by how hysterical it was. Sean was extremely adept, especially when he used the audience for his asides. Kristin was sparkling and her voice was as always beautiful. But my greatest accolades go to Kate Finneran, as the overly imbibed Marge, which should be no surprise since she walked away with the Tony. She may have only have been onstage for 15 minutes (Maybe) but she tore the stage apart with her cooing, stumbling and fawning. So see it, see it, see it; as opposed to the Addams Family which we saw while I was hiatus. I have tried so hard to forget that lame, ridiculous musical, that I have told Moe and Debbie twice not to waste their time. The problem with that is they saw it with us. Yes early dementia sets in. I offer my apologies to Bebe, Nathan and Kevin, who handled there parts deftly, but how deftly can you handle day old vomit? Poor crippled David said an early good-bye, which "Have to be at the Hospital early". Not sure as a Doctor or a Patient, and we headed for the LIRR grabbing a nightcap on the way.
For Father's Day, we chose to handle it low-key, to help lighten the fact that Mr. Joe was not with us this year. Only last month did we find out that poor Tom thinks we left his father at the golf course. For my father that might actually bring him joy, but Joe never picked up a club in his life. We surmise it was the open airy feeling of St. Charles that gave him that impression. We once again dined at the the Galleria in Westbury with Mary and Jack, Miss Kitty and Tom. I was fashionably late, with everyone seated already. We had a very pleasant evening, with Tom and Jack not leaving a crumb on their plate. Mary was sure to comment that he never finishes his plate, but she has made that observation every time we are at the Galleria. Bless her heart, she hasn't figured out that only home-cooking goes uneaten. Mary of course like me left room for Sambucca and coffee, like mother like, Well you know.
So thankfully we had a pleasant weekend together, while James now gets ready to travel to L.A. for business, or is it? Well, the private detective will be sure to tell me. TaTa for now
Promises, Promises was last night. James and I attended the show with Cha Cha LaBucca and his date Dr. David. Poor Cha Cha has seen it necessary to go out of state for dates lately; either wearing out all the Long Island options, or looking for a more superior dashing selection. Let's see there was Boston, Canada and Guadeloupe. Okay Okay he wore Long Island out! James and I got in early for dinner, and James selected Barbetta on W 46th st, because of their quaint outside dining. Well Mr. Oblivious was perplexed by my bogus excitement, obviously forgetting the last time we were there I got crapped on by the birds in their trees. Doesn't that make for delectable dining? Thankfully I survived dinner feces free, and had a very enjoyable dinner. We set off to meet Cha Cha and David at Sardi's for a quick cocktail and then off to the theater. David is just as tall as me and definitely sturdier, so what do you think petite Cha Cha does. He sticks poor David inside next to the obese women who has wedged her cheeks in to the seat and cascaded over into David's seat. Guess we won't be seeing him again! . If you are interested, I was very comfortable in the aisle seat. Promises, Promises stars Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes (Jack in "Will and Grace"). I thoroughly enjoyed the show, and was greatly surprised by how hysterical it was. Sean was extremely adept, especially when he used the audience for his asides. Kristin was sparkling and her voice was as always beautiful. But my greatest accolades go to Kate Finneran, as the overly imbibed Marge, which should be no surprise since she walked away with the Tony. She may have only have been onstage for 15 minutes (Maybe) but she tore the stage apart with her cooing, stumbling and fawning. So see it, see it, see it; as opposed to the Addams Family which we saw while I was hiatus. I have tried so hard to forget that lame, ridiculous musical, that I have told Moe and Debbie twice not to waste their time. The problem with that is they saw it with us. Yes early dementia sets in. I offer my apologies to Bebe, Nathan and Kevin, who handled there parts deftly, but how deftly can you handle day old vomit? Poor crippled David said an early good-bye, which "Have to be at the Hospital early". Not sure as a Doctor or a Patient, and we headed for the LIRR grabbing a nightcap on the way.
For Father's Day, we chose to handle it low-key, to help lighten the fact that Mr. Joe was not with us this year. Only last month did we find out that poor Tom thinks we left his father at the golf course. For my father that might actually bring him joy, but Joe never picked up a club in his life. We surmise it was the open airy feeling of St. Charles that gave him that impression. We once again dined at the the Galleria in Westbury with Mary and Jack, Miss Kitty and Tom. I was fashionably late, with everyone seated already. We had a very pleasant evening, with Tom and Jack not leaving a crumb on their plate. Mary was sure to comment that he never finishes his plate, but she has made that observation every time we are at the Galleria. Bless her heart, she hasn't figured out that only home-cooking goes uneaten. Mary of course like me left room for Sambucca and coffee, like mother like, Well you know.
So thankfully we had a pleasant weekend together, while James now gets ready to travel to L.A. for business, or is it? Well, the private detective will be sure to tell me. TaTa for now
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Picture it....Spring 2010 Long Island
I'm giddy as a school girl, I actually got to spend a whole 24 hrs. with James. It has become so desperate that we have had to rendevous in Syosset at my sister's house just to reintroduce ourselves. So we will enjoy a peaceful weekend of Promises, Promises and Father's day.
We finally got to watch the final episode of Glee, which went out with a bang! Shh don't tell James I saw it already. I was a crying like a fire hydrant through the singing of "To Sir with Love" while James sat stoic; The unemotional bastard! The whole 2nd part of the season was great, so if you didn't see it, start watching the repeats. Kristin returned as April Rhodes, and her rendition of "Home" from "The Wiz" was spectacular. The Creator Ryan Murphy obviously reads my blog for inspiration, taking my suggestion of casting Idina as Rachel's mother. I thought they got rid of the drunk cameraman, but he reappeared for the final episode bouncing the camera around during scenes; Can anyone say nepotism! The only disappointing episode was Funk which was god awful, but if you need to watch it, I suggest a shot everytime they say funk; you'll be s@#t-faced by the first commercial. The truly awesome Olivia updated her "Physical" video making it as hot as ever, and really showed a hysterical bitchy side as a judge in the final episode. Glee's Michael Morrison and Lea Michele made an appearance on the Tony's, where Matthew worked his shirt until it was unable to contain him, while Lea tried out for 2012's Funny Girl. Speaking of Broadway, Ricky Martin will be starring in the upcoming revival of Evita, I thought he would make a great Eva Peron, but was disappointed to see he will be playing Che. Really?
So while I was on hiatus, Rue McClanahan passed away. I still laugh when I think that Danny Thomas is a Lesbian. Everything I know I learned from the Golden Girls. Betty White is the soul survivor, and continues a legendary career with spots on snickers commercials, Hot in Cleveland and SNL; "My muffin hasn't had a cherry in it since 1939". Meryl Streep got stiffed at the Oscars Again!!! I saw the blindside, and Sandra Bullock was wonderful, but other actress' could have done the role, but Meryl's Julia Child was beyond perfection. So there! Tom, of the Detroit Scicluna's has relocated to Denver. Just when I grew a fondness for the frozen wasteland of Detroit, I have to get used the frozen thin air of Denver. Curmudgin Paul has sunk his teeth into the Scicluna Fortune, and boy is he in for a big surprise. We haven't seen Tom for months and he is sadly missed.
We are off to Promises, Promises tonight. So we'll have a full report tomorrow. Until then TaTa for now!
We finally got to watch the final episode of Glee, which went out with a bang! Shh don't tell James I saw it already. I was a crying like a fire hydrant through the singing of "To Sir with Love" while James sat stoic; The unemotional bastard! The whole 2nd part of the season was great, so if you didn't see it, start watching the repeats. Kristin returned as April Rhodes, and her rendition of "Home" from "The Wiz" was spectacular. The Creator Ryan Murphy obviously reads my blog for inspiration, taking my suggestion of casting Idina as Rachel's mother. I thought they got rid of the drunk cameraman, but he reappeared for the final episode bouncing the camera around during scenes; Can anyone say nepotism! The only disappointing episode was Funk which was god awful, but if you need to watch it, I suggest a shot everytime they say funk; you'll be s@#t-faced by the first commercial. The truly awesome Olivia updated her "Physical" video making it as hot as ever, and really showed a hysterical bitchy side as a judge in the final episode. Glee's Michael Morrison and Lea Michele made an appearance on the Tony's, where Matthew worked his shirt until it was unable to contain him, while Lea tried out for 2012's Funny Girl. Speaking of Broadway, Ricky Martin will be starring in the upcoming revival of Evita, I thought he would make a great Eva Peron, but was disappointed to see he will be playing Che. Really?
So while I was on hiatus, Rue McClanahan passed away. I still laugh when I think that Danny Thomas is a Lesbian. Everything I know I learned from the Golden Girls. Betty White is the soul survivor, and continues a legendary career with spots on snickers commercials, Hot in Cleveland and SNL; "My muffin hasn't had a cherry in it since 1939". Meryl Streep got stiffed at the Oscars Again!!! I saw the blindside, and Sandra Bullock was wonderful, but other actress' could have done the role, but Meryl's Julia Child was beyond perfection. So there! Tom, of the Detroit Scicluna's has relocated to Denver. Just when I grew a fondness for the frozen wasteland of Detroit, I have to get used the frozen thin air of Denver. Curmudgin Paul has sunk his teeth into the Scicluna Fortune, and boy is he in for a big surprise. We haven't seen Tom for months and he is sadly missed.
We are off to Promises, Promises tonight. So we'll have a full report tomorrow. Until then TaTa for now!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
I Blog, Therefore I Am
Yes, Yes, I am back my legions of fans. Please hold the applause till the end, Thank You. I'd like to think I wasn't actually gone, but doing a Desperate Housewives and jumping into the future like the past 4 months never happened, unless I choose to do a flashback episode. Just think of me as the Gabby, sans lawn boy, of Smith St.
This past Friday, I got to dine with James, Mustang, and Artsy-Fartsy in the lovely village of Port Jefferson. We arrived 10 minutes early into the village, to then spend a half hour hunting for an open parking spot. The Village is laden with about 1,000 parking spots but everyone was taken. I phoned Mustang to find out that he and Artsy, had already parked and were sipping on their martinis. I took that well! We continued treking thorough the lots until we finally located a spot. I needed to return to the car to retrieve my glasses, and sent James ahead to announce our imminent arrival and give them a few minutes to brace for my cheery disposition. We were dining at the Fifth Season, which appeared to be a converted Victorian house. It probably was a residential house when we first started looking for parking. I found the guys at the bar funneling down their cocktails, and we were seated. Mustang had already spied the waiter, and immediately started with a verbal barrage on Jason/Justin It was fascinating to watch Mustang doing "the mating dance of the dirty martini". Dinner was adequate, but we had a beautiful view of the Village, which was good because I was never going to attempt this ride Ever Again. On the way home the 4 of us stopped at Sugar's for a cocktail, where Artsy Fartsy, feeling a little empty after the 5 course meal, devoured the free wieners (Hot dogs! you perverts!). I was queasy watching this display of gluttony, so I pried James away from his one way conversation with Jeanie and headed home.
Saturday was a day of gardening. James is the best supervisor ever, he gives 10 minute breaks every hour. That night we headed off to Port Washington to catch a dinner cruise with Miss Kitty. We were joined by James' ex Paudie, and his future ex Tangerine, the southern belle from Atlanta. We actually had filled up on so many appetizers, I had no room for the actual dinner (Where's Artsy-Fartsy when you need him?). We knew several people on the cruise so we delegated our time between them generously. We have the luckiest friends! One of our favorites was Blustering Bill, who doesn't just tell a story, He makes it an event. We sailed up the East River to New York Harbor and the Statue of Liberty. On the return trip, the dance floor was open above, but several people commented that after watching Tangerine dance, they felt a bit dirty. Seriously! We made it back to the dock, where the gang plank was now thankfully 6 feet higher. Tangerine offered to help Miss Kitty, but being so bleary eyed he assisted some poor confused senior, who despairingly attempted to explain that she wasn't Miss Kitty.
Sunday was Gay Pride Day in Huntington so we invited our bestest friends over before the parade, but when they couldn't make it, we invited the B List. We were up early prepping for Bloody Marys, Bagels and a Smear. Moe and Deb thankfully arrived early to assist with the setup. I found the best way to get gifts, is tell everyone please don't bring anything. Wine, plants and desert were overflowing by the time everyone arrived. Bucca Bill and Insatiable left early since they were part of the Blanche float. With everyone stocked up on there To Go cups of Bloody Marys and Mimosas, we set off with Omar and Chauffeur Brian in tow. Artsy-Fartsy and Mustang joined us with "Hemp" Charlie. Brian had recent knee surgery so it was daunting dragging him along without spilling our cocktails. Finally we made it the parade route but missed the Dykes with Bikes and Chicks with dicks floats. The turnout was actually very good and we clapped proudly for every group. but saved our best adulation's for Aunt M's helping hands, with "Yenta" Eddie doing his screwing the light bulb wave. Bill and Insatiable then arrived in a self propelled car, One Sec!..... Oops my error, Kevin, the incredible shrinking Bar owner was driving. Being Blanche's 25th anniversary they splurged for beads, well at least 2 sets which Brian and I dutifully caught. I may be spastic, but when there's free stuff I rise to the occasion! Tupperware's own Aunt Barbara was there also handing out free Tupperware for your medication, it's like she knew I was there. At the end of the parade, we scrambled through Heckscher Park, scouting for more free stuff. We took our raffles for the Aunt M's gift basket, which we were sure to win. Not that "Yenta" Eddie rigs it. not at all!? We headed back home after our dose of screaming Queens and Grey Flannel Lesbians. We invited the B List back to help devour the desserts that had accumulated in our fridge. Poor Brian must have misunderstood, because he supplemented his meds with more Bloody Marys. I believe he considers celery dessert. For the next hour we then discussed the sad lives of all our friends who couldn't make it back. Poor Omar was aghast that we would talk about our friends that way, and explaining that we wouldn't waste our breath on our enemies further confused him.
With James on a work trip again, I arranged a support group for Omar the tent makers guest bartending spot at Rooster's bar. Since I refuse to go dateless, I scoured the gutters till I found Blustering Bill free. Okay Cheap but not free. We arrived to find "Yenta" Eddie already parked in his seat. Cha Cha, Bucca, Teddy and Woody Galore also made appearances. We occupied the pool table until midnight, and then lost interest. Oh did I forget to mention pool was free till midnight. "Grizzly" Dean even invested in real Sambucca to mark the occasion, usually we only rate the cheap swill. After I reminded Dean of the blackmail I had on him, he was very pleased with Omar's night and if he knows what's good for him he'll hire the brat.
Wednesday was Fire Island day with Liam. Bless his heart, he was sure we were going to Ireland by boat. Mustang joined us, who Liam charmingly called Grandpa Mist. Lovelorn Lou also joined us on the excursion to the Grove. Liam was a little disappointed that only the small boat was making the trip, but livened up when he found out we going to celebrate the birthday of Helen, the Polish Lesbian. Helen was at the dock when we arrived. She was over for the week freeloading... Um I mean, visiting Chris. We sat for lunch while Liam pondered "Why is he called Helen?". I'll leave that one to his parents! After Lunch Mustang and Helen seated themselves at the Ice Castle's bar, with the bartender Todd "The Nemesis of Swamp Thing". While they reminisced over Mist and Martini's, Liam and I made our way to the beach, where we learned Uncle James is clueless in kite flying but builds a mean sand castle, where he hope's prince charming will one day sweep him off to. Oops, lost my train of thought, I was getting the vapors. Where was I, Oh yeah the beach with Liam. Lovelorn Lou then escorted Liam in a hunt for deer, which Liam thoroughly enjoyed. He even found the haunted cabana, where there are vampires and skeletons and scariest of all Drag Queens! By 4 O'clock we were spent and headed home.
Thursday was spent with Liam and shopping with Miss Kitty, leaving me longing for a quiet weekend. I can only hope. Well Tata for now, while I leave you with The Miss John's -- Olivia Newton and Elton.
This past Friday, I got to dine with James, Mustang, and Artsy-Fartsy in the lovely village of Port Jefferson. We arrived 10 minutes early into the village, to then spend a half hour hunting for an open parking spot. The Village is laden with about 1,000 parking spots but everyone was taken. I phoned Mustang to find out that he and Artsy, had already parked and were sipping on their martinis. I took that well! We continued treking thorough the lots until we finally located a spot. I needed to return to the car to retrieve my glasses, and sent James ahead to announce our imminent arrival and give them a few minutes to brace for my cheery disposition. We were dining at the Fifth Season, which appeared to be a converted Victorian house. It probably was a residential house when we first started looking for parking. I found the guys at the bar funneling down their cocktails, and we were seated. Mustang had already spied the waiter, and immediately started with a verbal barrage on Jason/Justin It was fascinating to watch Mustang doing "the mating dance of the dirty martini". Dinner was adequate, but we had a beautiful view of the Village, which was good because I was never going to attempt this ride Ever Again. On the way home the 4 of us stopped at Sugar's for a cocktail, where Artsy Fartsy, feeling a little empty after the 5 course meal, devoured the free wieners (Hot dogs! you perverts!). I was queasy watching this display of gluttony, so I pried James away from his one way conversation with Jeanie and headed home.
Saturday was a day of gardening. James is the best supervisor ever, he gives 10 minute breaks every hour. That night we headed off to Port Washington to catch a dinner cruise with Miss Kitty. We were joined by James' ex Paudie, and his future ex Tangerine, the southern belle from Atlanta. We actually had filled up on so many appetizers, I had no room for the actual dinner (Where's Artsy-Fartsy when you need him?). We knew several people on the cruise so we delegated our time between them generously. We have the luckiest friends! One of our favorites was Blustering Bill, who doesn't just tell a story, He makes it an event. We sailed up the East River to New York Harbor and the Statue of Liberty. On the return trip, the dance floor was open above, but several people commented that after watching Tangerine dance, they felt a bit dirty. Seriously! We made it back to the dock, where the gang plank was now thankfully 6 feet higher. Tangerine offered to help Miss Kitty, but being so bleary eyed he assisted some poor confused senior, who despairingly attempted to explain that she wasn't Miss Kitty.
Sunday was Gay Pride Day in Huntington so we invited our bestest friends over before the parade, but when they couldn't make it, we invited the B List. We were up early prepping for Bloody Marys, Bagels and a Smear. Moe and Deb thankfully arrived early to assist with the setup. I found the best way to get gifts, is tell everyone please don't bring anything. Wine, plants and desert were overflowing by the time everyone arrived. Bucca Bill and Insatiable left early since they were part of the Blanche float. With everyone stocked up on there To Go cups of Bloody Marys and Mimosas, we set off with Omar and Chauffeur Brian in tow. Artsy-Fartsy and Mustang joined us with "Hemp" Charlie. Brian had recent knee surgery so it was daunting dragging him along without spilling our cocktails. Finally we made it the parade route but missed the Dykes with Bikes and Chicks with dicks floats. The turnout was actually very good and we clapped proudly for every group. but saved our best adulation's for Aunt M's helping hands, with "Yenta" Eddie doing his screwing the light bulb wave. Bill and Insatiable then arrived in a self propelled car, One Sec!..... Oops my error, Kevin, the incredible shrinking Bar owner was driving. Being Blanche's 25th anniversary they splurged for beads, well at least 2 sets which Brian and I dutifully caught. I may be spastic, but when there's free stuff I rise to the occasion! Tupperware's own Aunt Barbara was there also handing out free Tupperware for your medication, it's like she knew I was there. At the end of the parade, we scrambled through Heckscher Park, scouting for more free stuff. We took our raffles for the Aunt M's gift basket, which we were sure to win. Not that "Yenta" Eddie rigs it. not at all!? We headed back home after our dose of screaming Queens and Grey Flannel Lesbians. We invited the B List back to help devour the desserts that had accumulated in our fridge. Poor Brian must have misunderstood, because he supplemented his meds with more Bloody Marys. I believe he considers celery dessert. For the next hour we then discussed the sad lives of all our friends who couldn't make it back. Poor Omar was aghast that we would talk about our friends that way, and explaining that we wouldn't waste our breath on our enemies further confused him.
With James on a work trip again, I arranged a support group for Omar the tent makers guest bartending spot at Rooster's bar. Since I refuse to go dateless, I scoured the gutters till I found Blustering Bill free. Okay Cheap but not free. We arrived to find "Yenta" Eddie already parked in his seat. Cha Cha, Bucca, Teddy and Woody Galore also made appearances. We occupied the pool table until midnight, and then lost interest. Oh did I forget to mention pool was free till midnight. "Grizzly" Dean even invested in real Sambucca to mark the occasion, usually we only rate the cheap swill. After I reminded Dean of the blackmail I had on him, he was very pleased with Omar's night and if he knows what's good for him he'll hire the brat.
Wednesday was Fire Island day with Liam. Bless his heart, he was sure we were going to Ireland by boat. Mustang joined us, who Liam charmingly called Grandpa Mist. Lovelorn Lou also joined us on the excursion to the Grove. Liam was a little disappointed that only the small boat was making the trip, but livened up when he found out we going to celebrate the birthday of Helen, the Polish Lesbian. Helen was at the dock when we arrived. She was over for the week freeloading... Um I mean, visiting Chris. We sat for lunch while Liam pondered "Why is he called Helen?". I'll leave that one to his parents! After Lunch Mustang and Helen seated themselves at the Ice Castle's bar, with the bartender Todd "The Nemesis of Swamp Thing". While they reminisced over Mist and Martini's, Liam and I made our way to the beach, where we learned Uncle James is clueless in kite flying but builds a mean sand castle, where he hope's prince charming will one day sweep him off to. Oops, lost my train of thought, I was getting the vapors. Where was I, Oh yeah the beach with Liam. Lovelorn Lou then escorted Liam in a hunt for deer, which Liam thoroughly enjoyed. He even found the haunted cabana, where there are vampires and skeletons and scariest of all Drag Queens! By 4 O'clock we were spent and headed home.
Thursday was spent with Liam and shopping with Miss Kitty, leaving me longing for a quiet weekend. I can only hope. Well Tata for now, while I leave you with The Miss John's -- Olivia Newton and Elton.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Send in the Clowns, don't friggin bother they're here
Yesterday, James and I got to sleep in late, which hasn't been that common of an occurrence for us lately. We headed in to the city early for the matinee of "A Little Night Music". There was a bitter cold wind in the city, but we stocked up on Starbuck's before we left Penn Station. James got an Iced Latte, just for that extra jolt of chill, but the triple shot had him speeding down 8Th Ave. at record speed, so I really don't think he noticed the icicles encasing me. We for once were ahead of schedule so we grabbed a cocktail, until all the theater novices shuffled in. We had excellent seats on the aisle, which were a great necessity. (The munchkins from Wicked would have complained about the leg room). Stephen Sondheim's musical starred Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones. The first act dragged on with light weight songs and intermittent humor. I have to confess, I had no previous knowledge of the musical, and was still unsure of its' storyline half way through the 1st Act. Angela Lansbury was intermittently wheeled out as the saged Grandmother, who had quips worthy of Dorothy Parker. Angela, a true Broadway legend, had her skills greatly under utilized in what has to be Sondheim's weakest musical (But even Sondheim at his weakest can have great moments). The 2ND act was much better and more cohesive, with the highlight of "Send in the Clowns" performed emotionally wrenching by Ms. Zeta-Jones. It turned out to be an enjoyable musical, but ultimately it will be a forgettable one.
We headed straight home on the LIRR, where I was able to devour my latest Kindle novel "Bloodroot". I just finished "The Help" which was a "Can't put the book down" read. Set in the 60's in Mississippi, it tells the story of black domestics sharing their stories of life serving in bigoted households. The book takes a deep look at the Good and the Bad of domestic service during the Civil Rights Era, and a ultra-secret attempt to documenting these tales. it is far from preachy and reads more like a suspense novel. I also read Kathy Griffin's Official book club selection, which was much better then I could have expected. Though not void of humor, it seemed to be an honest biography of life on the D-list (Though I could have done without the Andy Dick stories).
We packed our Tuxes last night and are headed into the city for Mr. Riepe's birthday present. We will be attending the Drama League Benefit Gala at the Grand ballroom of the Pierre Hotel. It's the 26Th annual musical celebration of Broadway honoring James' Idol Ms. Angela Lansbury (The original Mame, though I really know who put the noxious in obnoxious). It's a virtual who's who of Broadway, and though we'll be sitting off of the kitchen I'm sure, we will do our best to hobnob with the elite. Boy, I wish I was so lucky to have a boyfriend get me such great gifts. So stay tuned for "How to embarrass yourself in 3 easy hours, My life on the F-List"
If you've never seen this clip, it stars Nathan Lane and Cheyenne Jackson honoring Xanadu's Broadway nomination last year. I promise you Nathan Lane's reactions are Priceless. Tata for now
We headed straight home on the LIRR, where I was able to devour my latest Kindle novel "Bloodroot". I just finished "The Help" which was a "Can't put the book down" read. Set in the 60's in Mississippi, it tells the story of black domestics sharing their stories of life serving in bigoted households. The book takes a deep look at the Good and the Bad of domestic service during the Civil Rights Era, and a ultra-secret attempt to documenting these tales. it is far from preachy and reads more like a suspense novel. I also read Kathy Griffin's Official book club selection, which was much better then I could have expected. Though not void of humor, it seemed to be an honest biography of life on the D-list (Though I could have done without the Andy Dick stories).
We packed our Tuxes last night and are headed into the city for Mr. Riepe's birthday present. We will be attending the Drama League Benefit Gala at the Grand ballroom of the Pierre Hotel. It's the 26Th annual musical celebration of Broadway honoring James' Idol Ms. Angela Lansbury (The original Mame, though I really know who put the noxious in obnoxious). It's a virtual who's who of Broadway, and though we'll be sitting off of the kitchen I'm sure, we will do our best to hobnob with the elite. Boy, I wish I was so lucky to have a boyfriend get me such great gifts. So stay tuned for "How to embarrass yourself in 3 easy hours, My life on the F-List"
If you've never seen this clip, it stars Nathan Lane and Cheyenne Jackson honoring Xanadu's Broadway nomination last year. I promise you Nathan Lane's reactions are Priceless. Tata for now
Saturday, February 6, 2010
To Blog or not To Blog, Part II
We survived Aunt Barbara's Tupperware extravaganza or as she says "The Plastic Crap Party". She was more than we could have expected. She was slightly crude, very knowledgeable and just a little flirtatious. We met "Zaydeh" Eddie and Teddy Bear Matt at the The Long Island Gay and Youth center in Bay Shore. Eddie is on the board for Auntie M's Helping Hands, which supports gay people without hands. No, really just Long Island Gay causes, but I'm sure Eddie's kvetching thinking of the poor hand less people who can't wipe their own asses. I think Aunt Barbara was flirting with Mr. Riepe calling him "her tall bowl of lentil soup". Hey, if it gets us free Tupperware, I am all for it. But sadly all the free gifts were rigged going to all the board members or their family. Even "Zaydeh" Eddie won free tissues, Oy. After the presentation, we placed our order (Can anyone say Cha Cha's housewarming gift) and scurried off to Sugars. Jimmy finally got to meet the Boss and Jeanie. They were very warm and friendly, but Jimmy didn't fall for it. Actually Jimmy hit it off with both of them, but said Jeannie wasn't what he expected. No not in a bad sense, but said Italian Spitfire probably suited her (better than the words I used). We were home by 11:30 and safely asleep by 12:30, so we could rest up for Mr. Riepe's Christmas present "A Little Night Music" starring Ms. Angela Lansbury and Ms. Catherine Zeta Jones.
As I was previously saying the Grammys and Pool Night were a mild success. On Grammys night this mess of a women named Stacey was hanging all over my mother. I got to say you never know which way it will go. But Mary was cordial and friendly while Stacey talked about her 4 Children who are staying with Family (If Child Protective services is Family). Cha-Cha and Chauffeur Brian stopped in just while dizzy and parents were leaving, I was terribly afraid they'd stay for another.
Poor Poor Brian blew out his knee skiing. He totally wiped out on the The Little Princess hill, leaving behind him a skid marks of Jose Cuervo, Brian said he was skiing with the "Ex" (I would of thought skiing was a Euphemism, but Brian has pictures of the ski patrol carting him away; Not that they can't be staged). And Yes as of January 31st, Cha Cha is a Home owner. He bought a lovely estate on the grounds of Huntington Station. A House, Captain Morgan and Sambucca bottles, He is now set for life. I visited B.B.&B.(Bed Bath and Beyond) in Westbury this past Friday to do my regular stalking of Teddy Bear Eddie, but he was no where to be found so I bought new towels for the upstairs bathroom. I had 30 20% off coupons, so I went wild. We chose Port and Pewter as the colors of the master bathroom, to go with the Creme Bordeaux Granite. It looks fabulous and will certainly be the colors of 2010.
Well on to SAG's and the Oscar Nominations. Sag honored Glee (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah) as best Comedy ensemble Cast, so they are not totally clueless. They also continued the roll of Mo'Nique (for Precious) and Christopher Waltz (for Inglorious Bastards), making the Best supporting actor awards an extremely boring category this year. The Best Actor award when to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart" and then to Sandra Bullock for "the Blind Side' What? Yes Sandra Bullock for "the blind side". Did they miss Julie and Julia? Are they on the blind side of acting skills? Yes, Sandra put in a very Erin Brokovich type of performance and I truly do adore her but Seriously? Since the SAG voters are almost identical to the Oscar voting body, this seems a forgone conclusion unless Hollywood comes off their self indulgent botox comas and realize what talent is. Aunt Meryl has 2 Oscars Best supporting for "Kramer vs. Kramer" and actress for "Sophie's choice" back in 1982 (that's 28 yrs ago) since then she has racked up nominations for Silkwood, Out of Africa, The Bridges of Madison County, The Devil wears Prada (which she was up against Hellen Mirren" for "The Queen", so they got that right), and Doubt. I don't know what they drink in Cal-A-forn-I-a, but tell me there was anyone that could have done a better job, and shouldn't that be the criteria of reinventing Julia Child or Blond wig, southern accent, pushy broad. As for best picture Star Trek was left off the 10 nominees, but the inclusion of "District 9" as best sci-fi horror, and "UP" from Pixar gives deserving films a well deserved nod. But once again "The Blind Side" over "Invictus", come on people just because the medical Marijuana is legal doesn't require you to smoke it while balloting! (I could be wrong, I've never read the eligibility requirements). So it seems to be a battle of the Exes, James Cameron for "Avatar" and Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker". Though I've heard from a reader that the "Hurt Locker" was crap, since he is not a follower like the chosen six, I weigh his criticism with mock enthusiasm (plus he was brought up in Pittsburgh and now lives in Jersey, need I say more).
Okay that's enough for now so I'll just let you ponder how the Oscars can better your life. Here's "Total Eclipse of the heart" from Bonnie Tyler, which I adored during my camp counseling days. Then I got to see the very hot yet inane video and loved it even more. Well they've rewritten the words to be a literal translation of the video, so enjoy and Tata for now.
As I was previously saying the Grammys and Pool Night were a mild success. On Grammys night this mess of a women named Stacey was hanging all over my mother. I got to say you never know which way it will go. But Mary was cordial and friendly while Stacey talked about her 4 Children who are staying with Family (If Child Protective services is Family). Cha-Cha and Chauffeur Brian stopped in just while dizzy and parents were leaving, I was terribly afraid they'd stay for another.
Poor Poor Brian blew out his knee skiing. He totally wiped out on the The Little Princess hill, leaving behind him a skid marks of Jose Cuervo, Brian said he was skiing with the "Ex" (I would of thought skiing was a Euphemism, but Brian has pictures of the ski patrol carting him away; Not that they can't be staged). And Yes as of January 31st, Cha Cha is a Home owner. He bought a lovely estate on the grounds of Huntington Station. A House, Captain Morgan and Sambucca bottles, He is now set for life. I visited B.B.&B.(Bed Bath and Beyond) in Westbury this past Friday to do my regular stalking of Teddy Bear Eddie, but he was no where to be found so I bought new towels for the upstairs bathroom. I had 30 20% off coupons, so I went wild. We chose Port and Pewter as the colors of the master bathroom, to go with the Creme Bordeaux Granite. It looks fabulous and will certainly be the colors of 2010.
Well on to SAG's and the Oscar Nominations. Sag honored Glee (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah) as best Comedy ensemble Cast, so they are not totally clueless. They also continued the roll of Mo'Nique (for Precious) and Christopher Waltz (for Inglorious Bastards), making the Best supporting actor awards an extremely boring category this year. The Best Actor award when to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart" and then to Sandra Bullock for "the Blind Side' What? Yes Sandra Bullock for "the blind side". Did they miss Julie and Julia? Are they on the blind side of acting skills? Yes, Sandra put in a very Erin Brokovich type of performance and I truly do adore her but Seriously? Since the SAG voters are almost identical to the Oscar voting body, this seems a forgone conclusion unless Hollywood comes off their self indulgent botox comas and realize what talent is. Aunt Meryl has 2 Oscars Best supporting for "Kramer vs. Kramer" and actress for "Sophie's choice" back in 1982 (that's 28 yrs ago) since then she has racked up nominations for Silkwood, Out of Africa, The Bridges of Madison County, The Devil wears Prada (which she was up against Hellen Mirren" for "The Queen", so they got that right), and Doubt. I don't know what they drink in Cal-A-forn-I-a, but tell me there was anyone that could have done a better job, and shouldn't that be the criteria of reinventing Julia Child or Blond wig, southern accent, pushy broad. As for best picture Star Trek was left off the 10 nominees, but the inclusion of "District 9" as best sci-fi horror, and "UP" from Pixar gives deserving films a well deserved nod. But once again "The Blind Side" over "Invictus", come on people just because the medical Marijuana is legal doesn't require you to smoke it while balloting! (I could be wrong, I've never read the eligibility requirements). So it seems to be a battle of the Exes, James Cameron for "Avatar" and Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker". Though I've heard from a reader that the "Hurt Locker" was crap, since he is not a follower like the chosen six, I weigh his criticism with mock enthusiasm (plus he was brought up in Pittsburgh and now lives in Jersey, need I say more).
Okay that's enough for now so I'll just let you ponder how the Oscars can better your life. Here's "Total Eclipse of the heart" from Bonnie Tyler, which I adored during my camp counseling days. Then I got to see the very hot yet inane video and loved it even more. Well they've rewritten the words to be a literal translation of the video, so enjoy and Tata for now.
To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question!
Obviously the answer for the past 2 weeks has been Not to Blog. So Hi there deprived and depraved readers, and we'll get right into it. We have so much to cover from the Family Dinner, the Grammys, The Oscar Nominations and my so called life.
The Family dinner was a huge success. For Christmas, we gave everyone gift certificates for the Galleria with the intention we would use them for a nice anniversary dinner for my parents. With 7 of the 8 siblings in attendance, plus the parents, we were already busting at the seams. But with it being Jimmy's Father's first birthday since his passing, we asked Miss Kitty and Tom to join us. We arrived to have almost everyone seated, except Richard and Katie who were still searching for their gift certificate. It was certainly one loud and enjoyable evening. With so much talking going on, poor Miss Kitty didn't have time to dwell on Joe's passing. She spent too much time in amazement that so many conversations could possibly go on at once, with certain people involved in 2 or 3 of those conversations at once. Everyone got along well, until the conversation of the gifts Jimmy and I gave for Christmas. It seems "The Coven" believes we were overly generous with certain people (obviously not them). I got the gist that they were going to form a committee that from now on screen oour gifts. Well, Jimmy and I considered their advice and dismissed it quickly, especially when the final bill came and only a select few offered to help with the difference.
During last week, I received a phone call from a some Wacko looking for his girlfriend Betty. I informed him that I was the only person here and had no clue who Betty was. That didn't sit well with him, because he knew I was doing her. Really? When I said he sounded just like the Lady in "Chicago" that says "You've been screwing the milkman", it so went over his head. I let him rant, and informed him he was totally wrong. But that didn't dissway him. So I asked what he looked like, and when I was generally impressed with his answer, I informed him that the only way to get even was for him to sleep with me too. The next sounds were Click and Dial tone. Guess he finally believed me. Some stuff I can't even make up.
I had the pleasure of doing a double bartending nite. So I worked last Sunday for the Grammys. I pulled in a decent crowd, except those who had WWE wrestling, or had pre-alzheimer amnesia. I didn't really get to watch much of it, except the opening number of Lady Gaga and Lady Elton John. Other the wanting to electrocute that whole Emcee thing, I was wild over the number. They really meshed together great. I already have downloaded the song and video from ITunes. All the seats were filled until the Michael Jackson Earth number. One of the customers brought in enough 3D glasses for everyone. After that number I lost half the crowd, when my parents and Dizzy walked in. I have to be very grateful for my life, since I don't think anyone else has worked in a gay bar and had his parents and 4 siblings stop in and visit. But enough with the grateful, since customers were clearly smitten with Mom and Dad. My mother even offered to dance on the stripper pole. I reminded her that I had enough trauma from my childhood, and did need any setbacks in my therapy sessions. I was at least lucky enough to be heavily medicated that night, due to my back pain, so I was completely sober yet still hazy about the whole night.
Monday night I continued my drug induced bartending. I had my back brace on for support, which also has the added plus of tucking in the tummy. We had started league pool night, and I was promoting myself by buying the first drink. It made for a real decent night, and I learned how to make Jaeger Bombers from the straight pool team. I was able to sweep my pool games and we took our tournament 3 out of 5. See what properly balanced medication can do.
I will have to continue my updates tomorrow because we are off to Aunt Barbara's Tupperware party benefiting Auntie M's helping hands. So I will have to continue this tomorrow morning. Enjoy Lady Gaga and Star Trek and Tata for now.
The Family dinner was a huge success. For Christmas, we gave everyone gift certificates for the Galleria with the intention we would use them for a nice anniversary dinner for my parents. With 7 of the 8 siblings in attendance, plus the parents, we were already busting at the seams. But with it being Jimmy's Father's first birthday since his passing, we asked Miss Kitty and Tom to join us. We arrived to have almost everyone seated, except Richard and Katie who were still searching for their gift certificate. It was certainly one loud and enjoyable evening. With so much talking going on, poor Miss Kitty didn't have time to dwell on Joe's passing. She spent too much time in amazement that so many conversations could possibly go on at once, with certain people involved in 2 or 3 of those conversations at once. Everyone got along well, until the conversation of the gifts Jimmy and I gave for Christmas. It seems "The Coven" believes we were overly generous with certain people (obviously not them). I got the gist that they were going to form a committee that from now on screen oour gifts. Well, Jimmy and I considered their advice and dismissed it quickly, especially when the final bill came and only a select few offered to help with the difference.
During last week, I received a phone call from a some Wacko looking for his girlfriend Betty. I informed him that I was the only person here and had no clue who Betty was. That didn't sit well with him, because he knew I was doing her. Really? When I said he sounded just like the Lady in "Chicago" that says "You've been screwing the milkman", it so went over his head. I let him rant, and informed him he was totally wrong. But that didn't dissway him. So I asked what he looked like, and when I was generally impressed with his answer, I informed him that the only way to get even was for him to sleep with me too. The next sounds were Click and Dial tone. Guess he finally believed me. Some stuff I can't even make up.
I had the pleasure of doing a double bartending nite. So I worked last Sunday for the Grammys. I pulled in a decent crowd, except those who had WWE wrestling, or had pre-alzheimer amnesia. I didn't really get to watch much of it, except the opening number of Lady Gaga and Lady Elton John. Other the wanting to electrocute that whole Emcee thing, I was wild over the number. They really meshed together great. I already have downloaded the song and video from ITunes. All the seats were filled until the Michael Jackson Earth number. One of the customers brought in enough 3D glasses for everyone. After that number I lost half the crowd, when my parents and Dizzy walked in. I have to be very grateful for my life, since I don't think anyone else has worked in a gay bar and had his parents and 4 siblings stop in and visit. But enough with the grateful, since customers were clearly smitten with Mom and Dad. My mother even offered to dance on the stripper pole. I reminded her that I had enough trauma from my childhood, and did need any setbacks in my therapy sessions. I was at least lucky enough to be heavily medicated that night, due to my back pain, so I was completely sober yet still hazy about the whole night.
Monday night I continued my drug induced bartending. I had my back brace on for support, which also has the added plus of tucking in the tummy. We had started league pool night, and I was promoting myself by buying the first drink. It made for a real decent night, and I learned how to make Jaeger Bombers from the straight pool team. I was able to sweep my pool games and we took our tournament 3 out of 5. See what properly balanced medication can do.
I will have to continue my updates tomorrow because we are off to Aunt Barbara's Tupperware party benefiting Auntie M's helping hands. So I will have to continue this tomorrow morning. Enjoy Lady Gaga and Star Trek and Tata for now.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A Vicodin, A Vicodin, My Kingdom for a Vicodin
Happy Saturday to you all. Thursday with Liam went smoothly. Liam was being punished for being a little sneak and lieing, so I save time cutting back on the spoiling (But with those skills I'm contemplating making him an investigative reporter for the blog). We visited Cha Cha LaBucca Dance Studios, where Liam had the run of an empty studio. Cha Cha staggered in and we exchanged philosophical ideas in his office (Yes, Gossiped). Liam became bored when a couple came in for their lessons taking over the dance floor, so he covered them in foliage that he ripped from the Studio's plants. Knowing when it's time to go, we whisk out the door not waiting for a reply to my "I should clean this up offer". While with Cha Cha, I received an emergency call from Jeannie asking me to work the bar because she hurt her leg (If she worked her leg muscles like her mouth, she'd look like Eric Hayden). So I race to drop Liam off and stop home to shower off and cancel movie plans with "Zaydeh" Eddie (that's Hebrew for Grandmother) and head to work.
I arrive at work less then a 1/2 hr. late trying to drum up business on the way. Well it was a dead dead night. Thank God Helen ,the polish Lesbian, Mustang Sally and Artsy Fartsy arrived to keep me company for a while. Mustang Sally came from watching his grandson, who endearingly calls him Grandpa Mist. Artsy Fartsy snuck in the back door donned in dark glasses and a hat lest his neighbors see him entering a Gay Bar. Really? If his neighbors ain't figured it out yet, then painting himself pink and singing show tunes isn't going to clue those people in. I heard a rumor during the night that Jeannie actually was having a house party and "Boss" Jack and I were the only two not invited. That B*tch! (And the rumor must be true because I started it, and like this blog I only deal in fact!!). Well at least I get to close early and head home.
On Friday, I had to be up early and get Miss Kitty to the doctors, grocery shopping and to the beauty salon. By the time I was done, I limped home and directly to bed. Got to do some cleaning today and tons of wash. I need to get dressed and head off to the Mary and Jack's 53rd Anniversary dinner which should make for great blog tomorrow.
Glee News Update!! Neil Patrick Harris will be making a guest appearance during Sweeps week. The all Madonna episode will have Jane Lynch doing Vogue. Guest appearances from Idina Menzel "Wicked", Jonathan Groff "Spring Awakening", and the return of Kristin Chenoweth. And Last but greatest Olivia Newton-John herself will be performing Physical with Jane Lynch. Can you hear my excitement?! TaTa for now.
I arrive at work less then a 1/2 hr. late trying to drum up business on the way. Well it was a dead dead night. Thank God Helen ,the polish Lesbian, Mustang Sally and Artsy Fartsy arrived to keep me company for a while. Mustang Sally came from watching his grandson, who endearingly calls him Grandpa Mist. Artsy Fartsy snuck in the back door donned in dark glasses and a hat lest his neighbors see him entering a Gay Bar. Really? If his neighbors ain't figured it out yet, then painting himself pink and singing show tunes isn't going to clue those people in. I heard a rumor during the night that Jeannie actually was having a house party and "Boss" Jack and I were the only two not invited. That B*tch! (And the rumor must be true because I started it, and like this blog I only deal in fact!!). Well at least I get to close early and head home.
On Friday, I had to be up early and get Miss Kitty to the doctors, grocery shopping and to the beauty salon. By the time I was done, I limped home and directly to bed. Got to do some cleaning today and tons of wash. I need to get dressed and head off to the Mary and Jack's 53rd Anniversary dinner which should make for great blog tomorrow.
Glee News Update!! Neil Patrick Harris will be making a guest appearance during Sweeps week. The all Madonna episode will have Jane Lynch doing Vogue. Guest appearances from Idina Menzel "Wicked", Jonathan Groff "Spring Awakening", and the return of Kristin Chenoweth. And Last but greatest Olivia Newton-John herself will be performing Physical with Jane Lynch. Can you hear my excitement?! TaTa for now.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Bar Nite and the Globes, Oh Vey
I have finally recovered from Bar Nite (All the gay bars join together once a month to promote themselves and back stab each other through a rotating cycle). After only 4 weeks of bartending, We got bar nite. I had the pleasure of being overwhelmed and severly humbled at my talents. I am truly blessed with a supportive family (Maureen, Debbie and my Father Jack) and faithful friends (Cha Cha, Chauffer Brian and Woody Galore) who all made an appearance. Jeannie joined me behind the bar at 10:00 after putting out a buffet of food that she had made herself. The Bar was wall to wall people from 10 till 2:30, with a large part of it being the twinks of Eddie Murphy's One Night Wonders (Eddie Murphy manages bars that open one night a week for the gay community, take their money and then go straight again). Eddie runs a tab for his employees and they drink away on his dime. It was a candy shop for them, ordering top shelf and refilling their glasses like a Burger King soda fountain. I got to see many of the old faces from past days. Kisses and hugs were all around, while I checked to make sure my wallet was there after each one. We stayed packed till 2:30, when Eddie closed his tab, like cockroaches in a well lit room, they climbed over themselves to leave so fast they overlooked the "tipping" part of the night. Eddie must know his employees well, because he left a sizable tip to cover them. As the last customers left, One bossy, toothless bitch who had been tirelessy working our regular customers to come to her bar decided that the person she came with was overgenerous with her tip so she combined it with her non-tip, left us 5 dollars and pocketed the rest. Though I don't like to smear names, I will say this "A thief by any other name would smell as skanky". I couldn't believe my eyes and would have disbelieved it if it wasn't for 2 other customers seeing this. After I told Jeannie, She grabbed a knife chasing the car out of the parking lot. Such language from a petit little woman. Sadly to say, Jeannie didn't catch the car, but I pray I'm in the same room when Jeannie confronts her.
The Golden Globes were a bag of mixed feelings for me. As predicted Aunt Meryl walked away with the trophy for "Julie and Julia" making her the front runner for the Oscars (Or as I call it Holy Day), with Sandra Bullock picking hers up for "The Blind Side". Glee triumphantly won best comedy show, but sadly the 3 stars went home empty handed. I seriously don't get the ommission of Jane Lynch, for best supporting actress. The woman steals every scene she's in, eating up the scenery and the cast alike. I seriously think the Gay Mafia won't take this sitting down, so the members of the foreign press better watch their backs; Jane and Neil patrick Harris will be gunning for you. The real upset came in the Director and Movie Drama categories, both going to Avatar. For the record, I haven't seen Avatar, but James Cameron's ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, was supposed to be a shoo-in for best director for the "Hurt Locker" and "Up in the Air" was a front runner for picture. If there is a positive side, at least it will add great suspense to the Oscars this year. Hopefully the Academy will overlook these awards and finally give a woman the directing oscar, or N.O.W. might be hiring their own hitmen.
Today is Manny day for me, so I need to ready myself for Liam. We have a big day prepared of shopping at BJ's (sadly disappointed when I found out it was just a wholsale chain) and stopping in to surprise Cha Cha LaBucca at his dance studios.
I have previously posted the video for "Taylor the Latte Boy" and now they have post the responce video (seems Kristin is a bit of a stalker) so enjoy and TaTa for now.
The Golden Globes were a bag of mixed feelings for me. As predicted Aunt Meryl walked away with the trophy for "Julie and Julia" making her the front runner for the Oscars (Or as I call it Holy Day), with Sandra Bullock picking hers up for "The Blind Side". Glee triumphantly won best comedy show, but sadly the 3 stars went home empty handed. I seriously don't get the ommission of Jane Lynch, for best supporting actress. The woman steals every scene she's in, eating up the scenery and the cast alike. I seriously think the Gay Mafia won't take this sitting down, so the members of the foreign press better watch their backs; Jane and Neil patrick Harris will be gunning for you. The real upset came in the Director and Movie Drama categories, both going to Avatar. For the record, I haven't seen Avatar, but James Cameron's ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, was supposed to be a shoo-in for best director for the "Hurt Locker" and "Up in the Air" was a front runner for picture. If there is a positive side, at least it will add great suspense to the Oscars this year. Hopefully the Academy will overlook these awards and finally give a woman the directing oscar, or N.O.W. might be hiring their own hitmen.
Today is Manny day for me, so I need to ready myself for Liam. We have a big day prepared of shopping at BJ's (sadly disappointed when I found out it was just a wholsale chain) and stopping in to surprise Cha Cha LaBucca at his dance studios.
I have previously posted the video for "Taylor the Latte Boy" and now they have post the responce video (seems Kristin is a bit of a stalker) so enjoy and TaTa for now.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Finally we got ourselves a date
I know that I've been M.I.A, but I was just taking a slight break from my New Year's Resolution. Actually, it was a very boring week. I did shopping with Miss Kitty on Wednesday and Friday, and I'm back to being a nanny for Liam on Thursdays. I guess I haven't totally kicked whatever bug I had because after that, I just needed to nap (No, not getting my beauty sleep; you can't improve on perfection!). I did get out with the Bucca Boyz on Wednesday to the newest of the gay bars, Roosters in Bellmore. I guess we were all in a stressed out mood because we ended up having a water bottle fight like 5 yr. olds. Sad to say watching Cha Cha mop up the floor was the highlight of my week. Silver J was not a happy camper when he got soaked by some thoughtless bastard (Yeah it was me). Well at least, we let off some steam, though not to sure Silver J is talking to us anymore (Guess that's water under the bridge; Not my best pun!).
Saturday was a clean the house day, since the maid took off this week. It is so hard to get good help these days. So we slaved away putting away the last of the Christmas decorations and tidying up for our company last night. We had a double date with Matt and Eddie. Matt is like a big old teddy bear you just want to squeeze; while Eddie is one of the sweetest people you'll know. He reminds me of a old Jewish grandmother, especially when he looks at you over the rim of his glasses. He is one of those people that has an inherent need to help people, which I guess is why he became a teacher. He also is involved in the fund raising for Auntie M's helping hands and also a published playwright. They arrived at our house fashionably late, blaming the poor directions. Really, go straight make a left on Cuba Hill and second right after tracks can be so confusing? We sipped on wine that Eddie and Matt generously brought, while Matt devoured the cheese and crackers and nuts (We knew it was time to go when he began eyeing Sparky's food bowl). We then headed off to the restaurant called 34 New Street in Huntington, which is at 34 New St in Huntington (Original name, like a polish lesbian thought it up). The place was a lovely little bistro type place, with excellent food, but the waitress was a little intimidated I guess. For dessert, she asked if we would like some Earl Gay Tea. I think she might of figured out our story, but we let that Freudian slip go by. Then she offered us some Homo-made apple pie. I'm not sure if it was home-made or some big old queen was in the back baking away. Her service was excellent, so we generously tipped despite the gay slurs. We split the bill 4 ways, making Eddie and Matt foot some of our drinking bill (I feel so guilty, okay maybe just a little). We had to hurry off, because I kept receiving updates from my nephew Clayton that his band was going on earlier. I think Eddie and Matt thought that was our escape plan if we weren't having a good time (Not like they didn't have their own ("Have to get home early to stuff envelopes, for Eddie's gala 50th B'day party"). We got back home so Jimmy could give a proper tour of the house, then we efficiently evicted our guests.
The GPS system (We've named her Mabel, because of the nasty way she is always saying recalculating when you don't follow her directions) said we would be arriving at the Broadway Bar in Amityville with 5 minutes to spare. We arrived to find the place spattered with teens all over the place, which left the bar wide open for us. So we slipped into our seats and awaited Clayton's Band "Last Stand". He tried to change the name to Liquid Ice, but that idea melted when they realized that was just water. We got our Bombay and Tonics and said hello to all the other Stewart's who arrived. Dizzy arrived with our niece Courtney and friend, and since she was driving them she wouldn't be drinking (which just meant we wouldn't be buying her drinks). Maureen and Debbie arrived, but Maureen scooted off quickly to set up for her filming (Maureen has become the official documentarian of the Stewart nieces and nephews). So Debbie sat along with us, and watched my sister Ellen and her husband Rich become stage parents. They set up the equipment, did the sound checks, sold their tickets (I was waiting for them to open a concession stand with T-shirts and posters). When the band came on, I scanned the crowd to see that it was mostly composed of an over 40 crowd (whose last time in a loud bar was the O.B.I. or Hammerheads). Well boy were they LOUD, and we were in the quiet seats. I saw some people turning their hearing aids off. But beyond the loudness, I really was impressed with their talent and their passion for performing. So after their 4 songs, we headed home.
We arrived home at 11:30. First, we had to check out Facebook, to see what Matt and Eddie had wrote about us (not insecure at all). It seems they had a pleasant time (Really just pleasant) with no mention of "can't wait to do it again". We need to try harder next time, because Matt and Eddie are on the in crowd of all gay social events on Long Island, so they could make us popular in a non-slutty way. We plopped into bed and watched the end of "I Remember Mama". I've made it my mission to get Jimmy into the old classics. We then were off to sleep.
Tonight is the precursor to the Academy Awards, The Golden Globes. Really it's an awards show for the 34 members of the foreign press, so they can schmooze with the Hollywood Elite of Movies and TV, but it's an awards show so I won't miss it. They mix up the awards by giving for talent (Meryl Streep for "Julie and Julia") or just because you're a really big star we want to meet (Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"). So I need to go press my Snuggy, get my notebook (for any blog moments), and pop my popcorn. Cocktails are a must, since the stars are drinking to (We can only hope for a Mariah Carey breakdown moment). So enjoy last night's performance by Last Stand (the incredibly handsome boy on the right is Clayton) and TaTa for now!
Saturday was a clean the house day, since the maid took off this week. It is so hard to get good help these days. So we slaved away putting away the last of the Christmas decorations and tidying up for our company last night. We had a double date with Matt and Eddie. Matt is like a big old teddy bear you just want to squeeze; while Eddie is one of the sweetest people you'll know. He reminds me of a old Jewish grandmother, especially when he looks at you over the rim of his glasses. He is one of those people that has an inherent need to help people, which I guess is why he became a teacher. He also is involved in the fund raising for Auntie M's helping hands and also a published playwright. They arrived at our house fashionably late, blaming the poor directions. Really, go straight make a left on Cuba Hill and second right after tracks can be so confusing? We sipped on wine that Eddie and Matt generously brought, while Matt devoured the cheese and crackers and nuts (We knew it was time to go when he began eyeing Sparky's food bowl). We then headed off to the restaurant called 34 New Street in Huntington, which is at 34 New St in Huntington (Original name, like a polish lesbian thought it up). The place was a lovely little bistro type place, with excellent food, but the waitress was a little intimidated I guess. For dessert, she asked if we would like some Earl Gay Tea. I think she might of figured out our story, but we let that Freudian slip go by. Then she offered us some Homo-made apple pie. I'm not sure if it was home-made or some big old queen was in the back baking away. Her service was excellent, so we generously tipped despite the gay slurs. We split the bill 4 ways, making Eddie and Matt foot some of our drinking bill (I feel so guilty, okay maybe just a little). We had to hurry off, because I kept receiving updates from my nephew Clayton that his band was going on earlier. I think Eddie and Matt thought that was our escape plan if we weren't having a good time (Not like they didn't have their own ("Have to get home early to stuff envelopes, for Eddie's gala 50th B'day party"). We got back home so Jimmy could give a proper tour of the house, then we efficiently evicted our guests.
The GPS system (We've named her Mabel, because of the nasty way she is always saying recalculating when you don't follow her directions) said we would be arriving at the Broadway Bar in Amityville with 5 minutes to spare. We arrived to find the place spattered with teens all over the place, which left the bar wide open for us. So we slipped into our seats and awaited Clayton's Band "Last Stand". He tried to change the name to Liquid Ice, but that idea melted when they realized that was just water. We got our Bombay and Tonics and said hello to all the other Stewart's who arrived. Dizzy arrived with our niece Courtney and friend, and since she was driving them she wouldn't be drinking (which just meant we wouldn't be buying her drinks). Maureen and Debbie arrived, but Maureen scooted off quickly to set up for her filming (Maureen has become the official documentarian of the Stewart nieces and nephews). So Debbie sat along with us, and watched my sister Ellen and her husband Rich become stage parents. They set up the equipment, did the sound checks, sold their tickets (I was waiting for them to open a concession stand with T-shirts and posters). When the band came on, I scanned the crowd to see that it was mostly composed of an over 40 crowd (whose last time in a loud bar was the O.B.I. or Hammerheads). Well boy were they LOUD, and we were in the quiet seats. I saw some people turning their hearing aids off. But beyond the loudness, I really was impressed with their talent and their passion for performing. So after their 4 songs, we headed home.
We arrived home at 11:30. First, we had to check out Facebook, to see what Matt and Eddie had wrote about us (not insecure at all). It seems they had a pleasant time (Really just pleasant) with no mention of "can't wait to do it again". We need to try harder next time, because Matt and Eddie are on the in crowd of all gay social events on Long Island, so they could make us popular in a non-slutty way. We plopped into bed and watched the end of "I Remember Mama". I've made it my mission to get Jimmy into the old classics. We then were off to sleep.
Tonight is the precursor to the Academy Awards, The Golden Globes. Really it's an awards show for the 34 members of the foreign press, so they can schmooze with the Hollywood Elite of Movies and TV, but it's an awards show so I won't miss it. They mix up the awards by giving for talent (Meryl Streep for "Julie and Julia") or just because you're a really big star we want to meet (Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"). So I need to go press my Snuggy, get my notebook (for any blog moments), and pop my popcorn. Cocktails are a must, since the stars are drinking to (We can only hope for a Mariah Carey breakdown moment). So enjoy last night's performance by Last Stand (the incredibly handsome boy on the right is Clayton) and TaTa for now!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Dead, Dead, Dead
Good afternoon to all, even though it's morning for me. It was a long night bar tending, since all the bars on Long Island were dead last night. I arrived at work promptly at 3:50, to find out The Boss wasn't there yet. You know the day I don't make it there on time, Jack will be there promptly and give me the lecture on how important it is that the Bar be open at 4. Well , he dawdled in at 4:15 with Jeanie, the senior bartender, in tow. She was dolled up in her best fir coat looking like a raccoon that was rudely awoken from hibernation. Based on my tips, I wonder how she could afford such a nice coat? Just wondering, that's all (and in no way meant she's skimming off the register; okay, maybe a little inference). Right behind him was Mike the lawyer, and then Neil, the retired City Fireman. I can only say after handling Neil, who already at 4 was intoxicated; I can tolerate anyone. What a piece of work. Mike and I were in the middle of a story, when the gin soaked bigot came in the bar. Well it seems poor Neil is being held back because of the Black President, and no he didn't say black. He also had an opinion on the lower class neighborhoods and why they are poor ("it's in their nature to be lazy and thieves"). Then the police department was next. The asshole police have the nerve to pull him over when he's drunk or speeding, and should psychically know he's a city fireman, and the cops have the nerve to actually give him a hard time. This poor poor victim!!! Yet, I calmly stay quiet and go about my business. The jukebox was playing Glee music, and he then starts to malign the faggy music. Well you can pick on minorities, you can pick on the police, but no one picks on Glee and gets away with it. So I threw the bastard out. So there. One of my dear Old Old Old friends Stephen popped in, and we had a lovely chat for about an hour and a half. Maybe not chat, more like a skewering of all our dearest friends, which is always the highlight of my day. One of Stephen's New Years Resolutions is to get in the blog 3 times, so here is number 1; Really dear Flannel and a silk scarf, get dressed in the dark much?. Hope that made his day. It was an extremely quiet night after that, having to entertain Jeannie and The Boss while they played the video game. Well those kind of nights are going to happen, but I really have to start working on my client base. I'm thinking of dropping of fliers at A.A. meetings. Hey, if there going to fall of the wagon they might as well fall into Sugars, am I right.
I need to go to work on putting the Christmas puke (I mean decorations) away. There are 3 upcoming events to announce: 1. Bar Nite is at Sugars this Monday with me bar tending 2. Auntie M's Helping Hands ( a non-profit charity run by friends of mine) has just booked Aunt Barbara for Tupperware night on February 8Th (location to be announced). Don't hold me to it but through the grapevine; Aunt Barbara is the Dame Edna of plastic ware, she supposed to be hilarious and the number one seller of Tupperware in the Northeast, and 3. is Open Band Night at the Broadway Bar in Amityville, where my nephew Clayton's band Last Stand will be performing at 10:30.
Mustang Sally is all in a huff, so like a naked midget in the closet eating pizza I humblely give my first retraction. He never used the derogatory word chinks, to refer to the Chinese Food he was ordering. Don't get use to my apologies! So here's a little Aunt Barbara and TaTa for now.
I need to go to work on putting the Christmas puke (I mean decorations) away. There are 3 upcoming events to announce: 1. Bar Nite is at Sugars this Monday with me bar tending 2. Auntie M's Helping Hands ( a non-profit charity run by friends of mine) has just booked Aunt Barbara for Tupperware night on February 8Th (location to be announced). Don't hold me to it but through the grapevine; Aunt Barbara is the Dame Edna of plastic ware, she supposed to be hilarious and the number one seller of Tupperware in the Northeast, and 3. is Open Band Night at the Broadway Bar in Amityville, where my nephew Clayton's band Last Stand will be performing at 10:30.
Mustang Sally is all in a huff, so like a naked midget in the closet eating pizza I humblely give my first retraction. He never used the derogatory word chinks, to refer to the Chinese Food he was ordering. Don't get use to my apologies! So here's a little Aunt Barbara and TaTa for now.
Monday, January 11, 2010
My Lost Weekend
Welcome C.P. to my blog kingdom. Poor C.P. had to fly to Cancun for work, so I needed to extend his deadline on the Blackmail. So because C.P. and Tom are spineless and have caved in to the blackmail, I am currently working on my next victim.
I had a great weekend, which I'm sure you're all so excited to hear. The back hasn't been on it's best behavior and all the sneezing sings the body electric, but that's the price of Fame (If you didn't get the reference, tough!). I actually got to spend time with Mr. Riepe, which is really the only true happiness in the poor guy's life. We spent Saturday at Bed Bath and Beyond with our dozens of 20% off coupons. We were stalked by the senior citizens, who were hoping that we would drop some scraps, or leave our cart abandoned, which has happened before (Try to file a police report on stolen coupons, it just ain't easy). We then visited Mustang Sally, who has been suffering a bout of bronchitis (really female trouble, but we went along with the deception). So armed with sanitizer, we entered his home. Mustang has a great eye for decorating, but not so much in overnight guests. There was a huge oil slick on his couch, and everytime you try to sit you slip right to the floor. The E.P.A. needs to be called in everytime his weekend guests go home! We were there to set up Mustang's facebook page and bring him into the 21st century (Seriously, he doesn't even have an Itunes account, but we love him just the same). So while James siphoned the wine rack, I worked away on the FB page. Mustang's first request was for UPS drivers, but I had to explain it really didn't work that way. "So I can't use this to get laid, then why the #$#@ do I want this" is what the neighborhood heard next. On cue, Artsy Fartsy arrived, with a bag of chips (really is that what you bring to someone's house). Mustang explained they were ordering from the Chinks and we were welcome to join them (I have such politically correct friends). We passed explaining we had been invited to Syosset (the land of constipated people) after we were done here. So mustang is now facebook ready and I dragged "Adventures in Taffeta" over to his screen, so he's only a click away from being insulted. James and I left, leaving a trail of recyclables in our wake. We then called my sister's house to see if we could bring anything, and guess what, NO ANSWER!! Yes, we were invited over to an empty house (you'd think we'd get the hint), probably with a list of chores waiting on the counter (Screw that!). So we dined at home and had a pleasant night just the two of us.
Sunday, we got up early and headed into Huntington for brunch. 11 am and not an open place to be found. All brunches open at noon, which really just becomes lunch, right? So we headed off to Cold Spring Harbor to purchase candles for Miss Kitty, and enjoyed a intimate brunch, just Jimmy, me and the bloody marys. We then had had enough of the bitter cold, so we headed home and got a couple of chores done (Well Jimmy did the chores while I had my afternoon nap). Jimmy headed to Merrick early, so I had time to strip the christmas tree, and toss it to the curb; like a one night stand (that's what I hear).
So today has been uneventful, while I prep for work tonight at Sugar's,580 Smithtown Bypass, Hauppauge just east of Rte 111, phone #631-366-2120, from 4-4. The upstairs bathroom is coming along, with several bumps in the road, but I'll save that for a day I want to do a blog rant. Did you know our couple name of Stewart and Riepe makes us Streep, I wonder if Aunt Meryl considers us family? Just a thought! TaTa for now. If you aren't getting the videos, which I found out some aren't, just go to jts-adventuresintaffeta.blogspot.com and drag the orange box in the address bar to an open part of your screen and you will always be 2 clicks away from the full blog.
This is a full episode of Frasier but one of the funniest I have every seen, besides MTM's "Chuckles bites the dust" and Carol Burnett's "Went with the Wind". The Doctor is out, guest stars Captain Jean-Luc Picard as a gay opera director. Enjoy and TaTa for now
I had a great weekend, which I'm sure you're all so excited to hear. The back hasn't been on it's best behavior and all the sneezing sings the body electric, but that's the price of Fame (If you didn't get the reference, tough!). I actually got to spend time with Mr. Riepe, which is really the only true happiness in the poor guy's life. We spent Saturday at Bed Bath and Beyond with our dozens of 20% off coupons. We were stalked by the senior citizens, who were hoping that we would drop some scraps, or leave our cart abandoned, which has happened before (Try to file a police report on stolen coupons, it just ain't easy). We then visited Mustang Sally, who has been suffering a bout of bronchitis (really female trouble, but we went along with the deception). So armed with sanitizer, we entered his home. Mustang has a great eye for decorating, but not so much in overnight guests. There was a huge oil slick on his couch, and everytime you try to sit you slip right to the floor. The E.P.A. needs to be called in everytime his weekend guests go home! We were there to set up Mustang's facebook page and bring him into the 21st century (Seriously, he doesn't even have an Itunes account, but we love him just the same). So while James siphoned the wine rack, I worked away on the FB page. Mustang's first request was for UPS drivers, but I had to explain it really didn't work that way. "So I can't use this to get laid, then why the #$#@ do I want this" is what the neighborhood heard next. On cue, Artsy Fartsy arrived, with a bag of chips (really is that what you bring to someone's house). Mustang explained they were ordering from the Chinks and we were welcome to join them (I have such politically correct friends). We passed explaining we had been invited to Syosset (the land of constipated people) after we were done here. So mustang is now facebook ready and I dragged "Adventures in Taffeta" over to his screen, so he's only a click away from being insulted. James and I left, leaving a trail of recyclables in our wake. We then called my sister's house to see if we could bring anything, and guess what, NO ANSWER!! Yes, we were invited over to an empty house (you'd think we'd get the hint), probably with a list of chores waiting on the counter (Screw that!). So we dined at home and had a pleasant night just the two of us.
Sunday, we got up early and headed into Huntington for brunch. 11 am and not an open place to be found. All brunches open at noon, which really just becomes lunch, right? So we headed off to Cold Spring Harbor to purchase candles for Miss Kitty, and enjoyed a intimate brunch, just Jimmy, me and the bloody marys. We then had had enough of the bitter cold, so we headed home and got a couple of chores done (Well Jimmy did the chores while I had my afternoon nap). Jimmy headed to Merrick early, so I had time to strip the christmas tree, and toss it to the curb; like a one night stand (that's what I hear).
So today has been uneventful, while I prep for work tonight at Sugar's,580 Smithtown Bypass, Hauppauge just east of Rte 111, phone #631-366-2120, from 4-4. The upstairs bathroom is coming along, with several bumps in the road, but I'll save that for a day I want to do a blog rant. Did you know our couple name of Stewart and Riepe makes us Streep, I wonder if Aunt Meryl considers us family? Just a thought! TaTa for now. If you aren't getting the videos, which I found out some aren't, just go to jts-adventuresintaffeta.blogspot.com and drag the orange box in the address bar to an open part of your screen and you will always be 2 clicks away from the full blog.
This is a full episode of Frasier but one of the funniest I have every seen, besides MTM's "Chuckles bites the dust" and Carol Burnett's "Went with the Wind". The Doctor is out, guest stars Captain Jean-Luc Picard as a gay opera director. Enjoy and TaTa for now
Saturday, January 9, 2010
If you say it enough, people will believe it.
Politics in my blog, who would have thought? It seems an interview with George Snuffleupagus (His new name, since he is an imaginary reporter that only is there to ask questions) on Good Morning America with Rudolph Giuliani should make the A.M.A. list of most serious cases of Amnesia! It seems there were no domestic terroist attacks under the Bush Administration. The new mantra is "9-11, gone but forgotten". Obviously the asbestos he was breathing on that day (Bush's EPA says there was none) must have damaged his brain synapses (it should have been his Elmer Fudd's vocal chords that should have been destroyed). Of course the obligatory "what I meant to say was" statement meant post 9-11. Really? whew, because that shoe bomber on the plane Richard Reid was just pulling a prank on December 22nd, 2001. The anthrax deaths in October of 2001, were actually allergic reactions to envelope glue that caused the death of 5 people and serious illness in at least 2 dozen people. So yeah no domestic attacks under President George W. Bush. Good Job Rudy! Poor Rick Lazio already has an uphill battle for the Senate and Rudy endorses him in the same breath, a good day for democrats, I'd say. But don't short sell Americans. They will believe his quote hook, line and sinker, and blame the liberal media for overblowing a verbal gaffe. Hi Mom and Dad! By the way don't forget Rudy spent more time at Ground Zero then any of the workers: "I was at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. I was there working with them. I was there guiding things. I was the one bringing people there. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I'm one of them." I missed the part where he sifted for human remains!
And don't forget this natural disaster occured under Obama. TaTa for now
And don't forget this natural disaster occured under Obama. TaTa for now
Friday, January 8, 2010
Crime does pay
Welcome Mr. Scicluna. I had the pleasure of meeting Tom and Ross on my first cruise, which was to the Caribbean. We found a posting for the "Friends of Dorothy" (code for a gaggle of gays gathering) meeting in the ship's daily itinerary. I had cut my foot on some glass, so I sent Mr. Riepe to scope it out. When I arrived, James was already deep in conversation with 2 men. They were Tom and Ross! The room had couples ranging from queenie (Thank God he didn't pick them), to sleazy (they were cruising for other couples to score with), to mostly average aged couples from Wales and New Zealand and other great locations to actually have friends. James then goes and selects the 2 old guys from Detroit; Really? was that your first choice James?. Well, when they say don't judge a book by the cover , they are damn right! James couldn't have selected a sweeter, walmer, more inviting pair who would become fast friends. When Tom and Ross first visited us, we secured tickets to Linda Eder at Feinstein's at the Regency. So we took a Limo into the city with my sister Ellen and her husband Rich and were seated at Michael Feinstein's personal table. Midway through the concert, an elderly man at the next table leaned over and asked if we were anyone important. I quickly retorted that Tom was Mr. Scicluna, you know of the Detroit Sciclunas. The man was quite impressed, though totally clueless. We found out later that somehow we bounced Linda's guests to the adjoining table, and that man, being one of her guests, wondered who could have possibly replaced them on the A-List. Little did he know. So now we have Tom Scicluna, the heir to the Detroit Scicluna's as a follower, succumbing to blackmail, but I'll take them anyway I can!
Well the Bucca Boyz Coffee Klatch was a great success the other night. Cha Cha and the Head Bucca were there with A.M.T. Mike and his "posse", The Greek Geek, Silver J., Teddy and Eddy. We gathered at Roosters in North Bellmore, with Auntie M's Tommy as the bartender. Chauffer Brian, was unable to attend but his hat made a guest appearance. I sipped on Seltzer, until the Tanqueray used some type of mind joining trick and forced me to order it. The Head Bucca and I kicked Cha Cha and Greek Geek's rearends in pool till we gracefully let them win a game. A.M.T. Mike brought his girlfriend and his boyfriend with him (Yes you heard that right), and introduced them to us. Most of us knew the girlfriend, who I inadvertantly thought was pregnant (Really, she could make a beer swigging couch potato jealous) and John. Mike nicely introduced John as a dancer, but John corrected him saying he was a professional stripper (Classy!). John it seems is going into the Army in the next few weeks, so Don't Ask and Don't tell. John was very happy to show off his job skills, but we would have none of that, The Bucca Boyz are always the center of attention, Okay, we peeked a little. Not too shortly, Stripper John was bent over the toilet with his boyfriend and girlfriend in tow (they would slink out the door without even a goodbye). The other bathroom would become tied up when Eddy decided to show off his rodeo skills to a random patron that had only walked in minutes earlier (a new rodeo record I guess). While this all was going on, we maintained our civil graces and turned our attention to Teddy, who was attired in his snap on snap off clothes. We had a fun night and other then Eddy and Brian's hat (who knew?), we left with our dignity intact! If Cha Cha's pictures all come out, a possible Documentary could be in the works.
I guess that will be all. I need to devise my next Blackmail To Join plot. I ran across this commercial, and I laughed so hard, I think I tinkled myself. So enjoy and TaTa for now!
Well the Bucca Boyz Coffee Klatch was a great success the other night. Cha Cha and the Head Bucca were there with A.M.T. Mike and his "posse", The Greek Geek, Silver J., Teddy and Eddy. We gathered at Roosters in North Bellmore, with Auntie M's Tommy as the bartender. Chauffer Brian, was unable to attend but his hat made a guest appearance. I sipped on Seltzer, until the Tanqueray used some type of mind joining trick and forced me to order it. The Head Bucca and I kicked Cha Cha and Greek Geek's rearends in pool till we gracefully let them win a game. A.M.T. Mike brought his girlfriend and his boyfriend with him (Yes you heard that right), and introduced them to us. Most of us knew the girlfriend, who I inadvertantly thought was pregnant (Really, she could make a beer swigging couch potato jealous) and John. Mike nicely introduced John as a dancer, but John corrected him saying he was a professional stripper (Classy!). John it seems is going into the Army in the next few weeks, so Don't Ask and Don't tell. John was very happy to show off his job skills, but we would have none of that, The Bucca Boyz are always the center of attention, Okay, we peeked a little. Not too shortly, Stripper John was bent over the toilet with his boyfriend and girlfriend in tow (they would slink out the door without even a goodbye). The other bathroom would become tied up when Eddy decided to show off his rodeo skills to a random patron that had only walked in minutes earlier (a new rodeo record I guess). While this all was going on, we maintained our civil graces and turned our attention to Teddy, who was attired in his snap on snap off clothes. We had a fun night and other then Eddy and Brian's hat (who knew?), we left with our dignity intact! If Cha Cha's pictures all come out, a possible Documentary could be in the works.
I guess that will be all. I need to devise my next Blackmail To Join plot. I ran across this commercial, and I laughed so hard, I think I tinkled myself. So enjoy and TaTa for now!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Is it still Blackmail, being politically correct
Okay I'm so sorry to have to resort to this, but blackmail seems the only way to get followers. As of today, I start an active campaign to increase my followers and Detroit is up first. One of my regular readers is known as C.P., and up to weeks ago only C.P. and Tom know why (Like Tom can keep a secret from me, He's a blabbermouth), but unless they decide to join my sect, I will be willing to sell the secret to other Detroitians (Is that what they're called, I really don't care). So here's the deal they have 48 hrs. to comply or the 1st frozen wasteland person to subscribe will get the secret (is it really Cucumber Paul, is it Crabs Paul, stay tuned and maybe you'll find out!!). Wouldn't it be a pity if the fag hag Kathy, or Mike-a-lob, or even Madam Shirley were to know the Flight Attendant's (really a stewardess) dark dirty secret. Well stayed tuned, same Bat time, same Bat channel same Robin codpiece (OOOh I'm getting the vapors) and maybe the truth will be revealed!!!
Today was a slow day. Woke up with a pained head that makes a hangover feel like a tickle. I swore it was a Sinus infection, but Hot Tea (God's gift to the Irish) straightened everything out. Then it was off shopping with Miss Kitty. I may sound like the most thoughtful son-in-law, but really most of the duties are picking up food for Jimmy, dropping off Jimmy's laundry, being Miss Kitty's drug mule and fun things like that. Now, I understand why everyone is so envious of me, who else gets a honeydew list every day ( that's when Jimmy says Honey, do this and this and this and to make it more fun, drag my poor mother around with you). Thanks to the above listed C.P. , we even have to pick up a special Greek yogurt, made by "Faces". I don't get but it's to die for, like they laced it with crack or something. Of course I always enjoy the grocery store, where one of the express lines is occupied by some women with a full cart. Unbelievably, the women had the gall to blame her 12 yr. old for not keeping track. Really you mistakingly thought the full cart was 10 items or less, and this women was able to procreate. Probably fell for the old "this is how the Chinese say hello". So you get on the other express line which now has a line of 10 people, because the idiot customer at that register argues about the coupon that requires you must by 2 of that item, so she wanders off to get a second one. And WHY OH WHY, are people shocked when the cashier asks for money. They have that "you mean it isn't free" look on their face; and they then proceed to dig for the exact change. I so can see how illegal immigrants and gay marriage are the downfall of american culture; because these gene pool misfits are really such a solid foundation. Yes, even standing on a check-out line can be fun if you have the right pissed off attitude.
Now that I've vented I can sleep better and it's time for my nap so I can be fresh as a daisy for the Bucca Boyz tonight. As I look forward to finding out the results of my blackmail, I will say TaTa for now. Here's how they do spontaneous dancing in Antwerp, Belgium. (Okay maybe not so spontaneous)
Today was a slow day. Woke up with a pained head that makes a hangover feel like a tickle. I swore it was a Sinus infection, but Hot Tea (God's gift to the Irish) straightened everything out. Then it was off shopping with Miss Kitty. I may sound like the most thoughtful son-in-law, but really most of the duties are picking up food for Jimmy, dropping off Jimmy's laundry, being Miss Kitty's drug mule and fun things like that. Now, I understand why everyone is so envious of me, who else gets a honeydew list every day ( that's when Jimmy says Honey, do this and this and this and to make it more fun, drag my poor mother around with you). Thanks to the above listed C.P. , we even have to pick up a special Greek yogurt, made by "Faces". I don't get but it's to die for, like they laced it with crack or something. Of course I always enjoy the grocery store, where one of the express lines is occupied by some women with a full cart. Unbelievably, the women had the gall to blame her 12 yr. old for not keeping track. Really you mistakingly thought the full cart was 10 items or less, and this women was able to procreate. Probably fell for the old "this is how the Chinese say hello". So you get on the other express line which now has a line of 10 people, because the idiot customer at that register argues about the coupon that requires you must by 2 of that item, so she wanders off to get a second one. And WHY OH WHY, are people shocked when the cashier asks for money. They have that "you mean it isn't free" look on their face; and they then proceed to dig for the exact change. I so can see how illegal immigrants and gay marriage are the downfall of american culture; because these gene pool misfits are really such a solid foundation. Yes, even standing on a check-out line can be fun if you have the right pissed off attitude.
Now that I've vented I can sleep better and it's time for my nap so I can be fresh as a daisy for the Bucca Boyz tonight. As I look forward to finding out the results of my blackmail, I will say TaTa for now. Here's how they do spontaneous dancing in Antwerp, Belgium. (Okay maybe not so spontaneous)
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