If the Oscars is my Christmas, so then the Emmys are my Easter. So Happy Palm Sunday because the Emmy Nominations are out. The announcements at 8:30 were a must see, well not really because I slept through them, but I hear they're a must see. "Glee" received a total of 19 nominations. Who knew there were even 19 categories? I am elated to say Jane Lynch and Neil Patrick Harris are double nominees. Let's hear it for the Gays!. Lea Michele, Matthew Morrison, Kristin Chenoweth and Gay Kurt all received acting nominations. But alas Olivia Newton-John was omitted from Guest Female appearance in a Comedy. They're just jealous. And in the "It's about time" Category, Sharon Gless finally got nominated for "Burn Notice" after years of getting overlooked for "Queer as Folk". I bet you can guess where I'll be August 29th, Easter Sunday.
I got myself all dolled up for a "Cha Cha and me" day at Fire Island. Cha Cha arrived on time, but then spent 10 mins. pondering which shoes to wear; Flip Flops, Sneakers or Stiletto heels. After all the drama, we arrived at the ferries and headed off to Cherry Grove. Or so I thought! Okay we might have accidentally got on the Pines Ferry, but Cha Cha was sure that's where we going so I didn't bother to correct him. On the Ferry ride, Cha Cha mentioned that he was thinking of having a couple of friends over this weekend for a Pre-Housewarming party. I quickly accepted for myself and James and completely ignored the "I didn't mean you" look on his face! We disembarked the ferry, to sadly find that the "Blue Whale" wasn't yet open for cocktails. So we sat at the little cafe and admired all the buff boys walking around. Every God Damn one of them has a body to die for, even the Butta Boys (those are the boys with ripped bodies butta face like Medusa). Cha Cha dined on a Greek salad (He loves anything Greek, and I mean anything) and we bought ourselves 2 coronas. The beers were $15.20, and piss warm. Really! We could have bought the Mexicans who peed in the bottles for less!
Now it was time for our long trek over to Cherry Grove. We chose to skip the beach front and head through the "Meat Rack" to spare Cha Cha's shoes any sand damage. Cha Cha was talking about opening a new business of dance shoes and ear bobs (Didn't know the 2 go together). Right now the name "Head over heels" is the front runner for his new enterprise, but feel free to post if you have a better suggestion. Well being bored with his dance shoe talk, I day dreamed along till I had a revelation! We could open a Kiosk in the middle of the "Meat Rack" selling maps, Gatorade and Adult accessories for the decadent denizens that prowl the woods (If you get my drift). We could call it "Bears and Twinks and Drag Queens, Oh My!" Cha Cha is all excited about this joint venture. But the best idea was to place cameras about the woods and sell photos like theme parks do when you exit a ride. After the patrons exit the woods from their "Ride" they can opt to buy the blackmail, excuse me, photos for an overinflated price. Genius I tell you! Well that occupied our trip through the woods and we made it with our virtue intact. Okay whatever virtue we have left, Better?
At the Grove, we plopped ourselves down at the "Island Breeze" bar for the next hour awaiting the arrival of James, who is joining us for dinner. Upon his arrival, Cha Cha handed James his drink and quickly reminded him that Cha Cha was the weekday boyfriend. Well quicker then you can say "How you doing", James was searching for a dinner date. He argued 3 for dinner was bad luck, but I saw through the charade. With all that effort, he still came up empty, so just the 3 of us sat for dinner at "Top of the Bay". The restaurant was empty, which is a pity because it really is excellent. We chatted through dinner, when I surprisingly came up with a whole new whole new language, Pomedin. It's actually quite simple to learn. Just take 1 vicodin and wash it down with a pomegranate martini. Oops-a-daisy. With dinner over, we hurried for the ferry and sailed back to Sayville. We said our goodbyes to James, and Martin and I continued our weekday courtship at Blanche with Poor Pitiful Peter bartending. We stayed an hour playing the video game and headed home, of course getting stuck in construction traffic on the Northern State. While I blasted songs from the I-Pod, Cha Cha played "check out the hot guy in the car next to us" game. There are no real rules, except don't flirt with the Homophobes when you can't go anywhere. For 45 minutes Cha Cha handed out his card telling the guys to call him; . married was not a game breaker Finally we got past the construction, and I disposed of Cha Cha on his stoop and headed home.
I'll say TaTa for now and hope you enjoyed "The Misadventures of Cha Cha, Queen of the beach". Enjoy the physical remake , and not a Butta Boy in sight!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Cape May, Hetero Capital of the World
We are off to Cape May at 6:30 am, a half hour late because someone overslept. Don't go pointing fingers, that's not nice. Okay, it was me if you must know. Satisfied? While we drive, I ponder how we got here. For any aficionado of Classic TV and Movies, you know Alice got to go to Hawaii, Fran Fine got to go to London, and don't forget Maria Von Trapp traveled the Alps. What do I get? Jersey! But, as everyone knows, I suffer in silence. We arrive at 10, and the Rooney's are ready for breakfast, so we dine on the fine bagels of Cape May and their rather weak coffee. Liam has become preoccupied lately with relationships, so rather expectantly he asks James why he's not married. James asks him "who should I marry?" The response of "Uncle James' was matter of fact. James continues it further by asking Liam "Do you think he'll say yes?" Liam effervescently says "Oh Yes". Poor naive Liam doesn't realize it's not the question but the size of the Jewelry! We packed up after breakfast and headed to the beach with Sean in tow wheeling the Winnebago of toys behind him. I would have question the need for all the crap, but was afraid the cooler of beers would be the first to go, so I kept mum. It was a quiet afternoon, and I even dared to get my feet wet in the ocean; just call me Dora the Explorer. We worked our way back to the pool area for a late lunch, and after freshening up we headed downtown for dinner. We went to Cabana, which was pretty decent for a "Chili's" type place. While we waited for our table I instructed my brother-in-law in a game of pool. Liam on the other hand was playing this ring toss game that was supposed to be difficult, but he handled it like a master. Within 15 mins., he was giving instruction to the beer laden men of the bar. Though I would never think of using him that way, Liam is a magnet for athletic sports men. Okay maybe I'd use him a little.
Sunday was a gorgeous day, where we headed down to Henry's for breakfast. The boys were more fascinated with the cats under the deck then their food, and James couldn't comprehend a fine class eating establishment that didn't serve Mimosas with breakfast. After eating we split up, Sean, the boys and myself going off to miniature golf while James and Eileen rented matching bikes and rode all over town. The flowered baskets on the bikes were a nice touch. After getting my ego trounced by a 5 and 7 yr. old at golf, we headed off for ice cream to make me feel better. It didn't help! But the cocktails at poolside eased the pain. Then the highlight of the day came at dinner. We went to the Lobster House, where I believe the lobsters do the cooking. The screaming child should have been a warning, but it went unheeded. The waiter was far from competent, seemingly hired off to the street to fill in for the holiday weekend. When the waiter delivered James' entree asking him to taste it "to make sure the kitchen didn't screw it up", really left us oozing with confidence. Then the exorbitant check came which we gladly paid just to get out of there. The Lobsters deserve to be evicted from this house! It was now 9:30 and we now looked forward to the the 10 O'clock fireworks, which you probably could guess by now went off at 9. Luckily, we had a stash of sparklers to light off from our balcony. James' mother Miss Kitty had given us some she had been saving. What she failed to mention that she had saved them from when James was a boy. YEAH 40 Year Old Fireworks. But the night took an upturn when after numerous attempts, we got the Ming Dynasty sparklers lit, and from the balcony were able to enjoy the 10 O'clock fireworks from Wild Wood and the 10:30 show from Atlantic City.
Monday morning was a quick breakfast before The Rooney's had to pack. They packed up the car and did a last check of the room. Little Sean was told to check under the beds for any left behind toys. I don't know what kind of toys Eileen was talking about, but Sean pulled out a stiletto shoe, and the show wasn't dainty. What possibilities does that leave us: 1. Some big old drag queen was using the room as a changing room, 2. My brother-in-law wears heals for his posture or 3. Left behind by some Call Girl from the last tenant. I don't know about you but 3 is the worst option, because that means the rooms are rented by the hour and aren't cleaned very well. So I opt for 2 and hope Sean's posture improves. We all then headed to the beach for the afternoon and whiled away the hours building sand castles and playing paddle ball. After Liam and Family headed home at 5:30, James and I set off to investigate the town. We found the shopping hub and spent a couple of hours shopping and sat for dinner at the Pilot House. The food was excellent, the staff warm and extremely competent, and the cocktails to die for. They were so good the cocktail menu accidentally fell into my pocket. Yes, accidentally, are you calling me a liar? I thought not!
We awoke Tuesday morning and packed for our ride home. We sat one last time on the balcony, and finally got to see our first gay couple. We politely waved our boas, and headed off satisfied knowing there was another token couple to hold down the fort. We were 20 mins. into the trip home when my driving skills were brought into question. So I "graciously" turned over the driving to James, and settled in for a quiet, EXTREMELY QUIET, ride home. I really felt terrible when James' legs cramped on the way home, but there is a price to driving prudently, I Guess!
As I endeavor to edit quicker so the blog is more up-to-date, I'll say TaTa for now, and I'll be seeing you in the virtual world of Adventure's in Taffeta.
Sunday was a gorgeous day, where we headed down to Henry's for breakfast. The boys were more fascinated with the cats under the deck then their food, and James couldn't comprehend a fine class eating establishment that didn't serve Mimosas with breakfast. After eating we split up, Sean, the boys and myself going off to miniature golf while James and Eileen rented matching bikes and rode all over town. The flowered baskets on the bikes were a nice touch. After getting my ego trounced by a 5 and 7 yr. old at golf, we headed off for ice cream to make me feel better. It didn't help! But the cocktails at poolside eased the pain. Then the highlight of the day came at dinner. We went to the Lobster House, where I believe the lobsters do the cooking. The screaming child should have been a warning, but it went unheeded. The waiter was far from competent, seemingly hired off to the street to fill in for the holiday weekend. When the waiter delivered James' entree asking him to taste it "to make sure the kitchen didn't screw it up", really left us oozing with confidence. Then the exorbitant check came which we gladly paid just to get out of there. The Lobsters deserve to be evicted from this house! It was now 9:30 and we now looked forward to the the 10 O'clock fireworks, which you probably could guess by now went off at 9. Luckily, we had a stash of sparklers to light off from our balcony. James' mother Miss Kitty had given us some she had been saving. What she failed to mention that she had saved them from when James was a boy. YEAH 40 Year Old Fireworks. But the night took an upturn when after numerous attempts, we got the Ming Dynasty sparklers lit, and from the balcony were able to enjoy the 10 O'clock fireworks from Wild Wood and the 10:30 show from Atlantic City.
Monday morning was a quick breakfast before The Rooney's had to pack. They packed up the car and did a last check of the room. Little Sean was told to check under the beds for any left behind toys. I don't know what kind of toys Eileen was talking about, but Sean pulled out a stiletto shoe, and the show wasn't dainty. What possibilities does that leave us: 1. Some big old drag queen was using the room as a changing room, 2. My brother-in-law wears heals for his posture or 3. Left behind by some Call Girl from the last tenant. I don't know about you but 3 is the worst option, because that means the rooms are rented by the hour and aren't cleaned very well. So I opt for 2 and hope Sean's posture improves. We all then headed to the beach for the afternoon and whiled away the hours building sand castles and playing paddle ball. After Liam and Family headed home at 5:30, James and I set off to investigate the town. We found the shopping hub and spent a couple of hours shopping and sat for dinner at the Pilot House. The food was excellent, the staff warm and extremely competent, and the cocktails to die for. They were so good the cocktail menu accidentally fell into my pocket. Yes, accidentally, are you calling me a liar? I thought not!
We awoke Tuesday morning and packed for our ride home. We sat one last time on the balcony, and finally got to see our first gay couple. We politely waved our boas, and headed off satisfied knowing there was another token couple to hold down the fort. We were 20 mins. into the trip home when my driving skills were brought into question. So I "graciously" turned over the driving to James, and settled in for a quiet, EXTREMELY QUIET, ride home. I really felt terrible when James' legs cramped on the way home, but there is a price to driving prudently, I Guess!
As I endeavor to edit quicker so the blog is more up-to-date, I'll say TaTa for now, and I'll be seeing you in the virtual world of Adventure's in Taffeta.
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